More Than a Whole Brigade
by Combustibility
Summary: Reader x Eren Jaeger Fanfiction.
1. Chapter 1

**More Than a Whole Brigade**

**Reader x Eren Jaeger**

The rain pounded against the slippery and muddy dirt trail. All around you you can hear the heavy breaths and smacking footsteps of your comrades running, carrying their bundle of supplies and their green hoods drawn over their faces. You were shivering, but you felt hot all over. You guessed it was the exercise taking its toll.

You looked at each and every one of your friends, taking this opportunity to clearly analyze their traits. It was always a habit of yours to stay observant, especially in such a tragic world as this.

You looked at the short blonde next to you. Her name was Christa Lenz. She was always going out of her way to help people. She was fast and used her size to the utmost advantage; you knew this because you had sparred with her once and had underestimated the short girl, ending up getting a mouthful of dirt. She was always apologizing for the littlest things, even if it wasn't her fault. You held a deep respect for Christa and liked how she was the only one you could be yourself around.

Well, she was the only girl you could be yourself around. You had a close friend, Eren Jaeger. You looked ahead of you, where you saw him running past Jean with a determined glint in his eyes. You and Eren met the first day when you had discovered that the training barracks held a library (you went gaga over any kind of text you could your hands on). You had kicked open the door because your hands were holding a mound of books (the librarian was an eccentric and boisterous woman and was all over you when she found out you loved to read, showing you many recommendations) a little too hard, and the dark haired boy happened to be standing right outside it at that moment. He had fallen on his butt and you had rushed to see if he was alright, dropping the books you were carrying. You kinda leaned a little close when he put his head down, groaning, and when you asked if he was alright, he lifted his head and collided with yours.

You both took a trip to the nurse to get ice for the bruises. He had left, forgiving you. Later that day he stopped by your dorm to give back your books. After that you two just started talking at lunch an during training, finding many things in common. You learned a lot about his past, and he learned much of yours. He had later introduced you to his childhood friends, Mikasa Ackerman and Armin Alert. They soon became your friends as well, for you and Armin shared a passion for literacy and Mikasa liked that you were the only one who could keep up with her in training (or maybe it was because she was the only girl in the trio and just needed someone to talk to).

You liked Eren as a friend. He tolerated your sour attitude in the mornings and liked to talk with you at night outside in the garden. He was funny and you both had common enemies.

You breathed in and out slowly, forcing yourself not to breath too quickly or through your mouth. You read about stamina in one of the books you read in the library. Your lungs were screaming to take in more air, but you fought over it with sheer willpower and urged yourself forward, now taking fourth in the run. Now Jean ran next to you. You rolled your eyes because he was a total dick.

He would tease you and annoy you until you couldn't take it anymore and would start picking a fight with him. You respected the fact that he wouldn't go soft on you just because you were a girl. You liked that because you wanted everyone to see how you can make Jean fall on his ass with him giving it his all. Though he was a dick, he was a natural leader and a great soldier. There was no doubt he would end up in the top ten.

You pulled the hood lower over your face as a new figure loomed over you from behind. The hair on your neck stood on end and you shifted slightly to let the huge blond boy run in front of you. You really didn't associate much with Reiner. He did help show you a move you were having trouble with one day and often sat at your table at lunch and made jokes, and he did laugh the loudest, making the other teens in the room glance at your table. You didn't even know what to consider him as.

He always hung around Bertholdt and Annie. You only talked with Bertholdt once while cleaning your gear. He was very socially awkward, and the conversation was going nowhere, so you both just kinda cleaned in awkward silence. You never actually met or talked with Annie, though you knew to stay clear of her.

You looked ahead of you as you heard whoops and shouts. You had almost reached the end of the track and you could see your instructor, Keith Shadis, the former commander of the Survey Corps, standing under an umbrella with a stopwatch. Hit in the face with a new burst of motivation and glee, you took a big breath and forced your legs to take longer and faster strides. You rushed past Reiner and Mikasa, leaning closer to the ground to make yourself go faster. You passed Annie, who seemed quite surprised that you had surpassed her, and ran faster.

_Faster_, you thought. You reached Eren, who turned to you. Your lungs screamed and your legs ached from the strain. He looked at you with those big turquoise eyes and you grinned wickedly at him and snapped your fingers, gun pointing at him. He faltered for a moment, and you used that moment to force yourself to run ahead, the end of the track deadly close. You ran past it without stopping, and only until you realized that you hadn't was when you collapsed.

The mud bubbled around your face. It was cool and slick, and you were too tired to get up from its sticky clumpy-ness. You closed your eyes, panting through your mouth, hearing the raindrops hit your hood. Squashing footsteps made you look up. It was Shadis.

"Well done,_. You came in first." He walked away to check on the other collapsed trainees. Sasha lay close to you, already asleep and butt in the air. You heard her stomach growl and she stirred. You liked the bubbly and high spirited girl. She was fun to hang around with. You often found yourself standing next to her during training, or flying through the air to catch up with her. She was quick with her gear and always left you biting the dust.

You were getting really sleepy, and you heard someone call your name. It was Eren. You ignored his calls and you closed your eyes, breathing hard and still gasping for air. The last thing you saw before you passed out was him sliding on his knees to reach you.

"_!"

—-

You felt before you could see. You could feel the heavy fabric around you, a blanket you guessed, and sleek sheets below you and a pillow under your head. You also felt something moist and sticky on your forehead.

You opened your eyes and tensed up, groaning due to the strain of your muscles. You took a deep breath and found it to be raspy, the back of your throat itchy. You reached up to touch your forehead, fingers collided with a wet towel. You brushed a strand of (h/c) hair from your eyes and looked around the room, taking in your surroundings.

You could see the edge of the arm of a chair next to you; you didn't want to move much because every part of your body ached from the running. There was a door on the other side of the room. A cabinet stood on the other side of your bed. You could see the edge of your shirt peeking out, and that's when you realized you were in a gown and entirely dry, completely the opposite of what you remembered you last being.

The door opened and a nurse peeked in. She inhaled sharply when she saw you staring back at her and shut the door. Moments later a woman in a doctor's coat strode in, closing the door behind the shy nurse. "How are you feeling,_?"

Being the child you were, you demonstrated how shitty you felt by blowing a raspberry and pointing a thumb down. The doctor chuckled. "Young lady, you overworked yourself. You have bruises all over your body, and I'm pretty sure you'll be aching all over for days."

"I guess I got a little too confident…," you replied quietly, your voice brusque. You cleared your throat, but the itch didn't go away.

The doctor drew nearer to you and took the towel off of your head. "You had a little of hyperthermia. That rain took its toll on you. You'll have to stay in bed for a few hours before I can let you out."

You nodded. The doctor turned to the door and gave you a little smirk and sideway glance, "There's a boy outside who's dying to see you. He's the one who carried you here." You watched as the two left out the door, only to be replaced by Eren.

"Hey,_," he said, closing the door behind him. You watched from your bed as he made his way around the it and sat in the chair beside it. You propped yourself on your elbow and turned to him, wincing.

"I heard you carried me here."

"Loose some weight,_. You're goddamn heavy," he said jokingly.

"Shut up. Where are Armin and Mikasa?"

"Armin is still recovering and Mikasa is in the lunch room, getting you something to eat." It was then that you noticed the twisting pang of hunger in your stomach.

"Hey Eren."

"Hmm?"

"Had fun eating my dust?" you said, grinning.

He gave you a playful shove, but all that did was make you hiss in pain and smack his hand away. Eren pouted and took a strand of your hair and tugged at it lightly, making you more annoyed. You growled and tried to swat his hand away, but he deflected it with the back of his hand. You grabbed his hand and growled, "Eren, you little shit…"

The door opened and you both turned to look at who came in. Mikasa stood there with a tray of food, a half of bread sticking out of her mouth. Her dark gaze loomed over you two amusingly, taking in Eren's hand in your hair and your hand on his. Whoopsies.

It took you two a moment to realize what was wrong and your both sprang apart hurriedly, you blushing crimson red while his cheeks were pink. Mikasa laughed a little and closed the door behind her with her foot and set the tray of food on your lap, taking a seat on the cabinet.

"Thanks, Mikasa," you said, staring hungrily at the tray of food. She munched on her bread in reply.

"What time is it?" You chewed on your piece of bread, waiting for an answer.

"It's almost eight,"Eren answered.

You continued to eat, talking with your friends until Armin came in to tell them it was curfew. You set aside your tray after bidding them goodnight and watched them leave. You couldn't stand being cooped up in bed and would rather much prefer if you were in your room, devouring a book, but you were stuck here. Your fingers itched to feel the leaf like pages of a book and the leather of the spine.

You lay awake in bed, trying to get rid of the thought of your books from your mind. You were at a really great part in one you were reading; all the sexual tension between two characters, the protagonist and her friend. You closed your eyes tightly, trying to get to sleep.

Goddammit.

You whipped off the blanket from your bed and swung your legs over the side, your muscles screaming in protest. You ignored the ugly throbbing, you get aches and bruises everyday, you could deal with this. You stood and reached for your shirt and tore off the scratchy gown and put on your shirt, buttoning it up. You slid your feet into your pair of dark boots and grabbed the lantern that sat on the floor beside the bed and flipped the switch, watching as small flames flickered inside the glass.

Since it was past curfew you could get into trouble for being out this late. You quietly snuck through the halls, being careful to listen intently. You passed the boys' hall, where you heard muffled laughter and a loud 'shhh!'. Something fell and someone cursed. Jean. You were about to continue on your way when you heard someone suggest, "What about Annie?"

You realized they were gossiping about the girls. Being one, you snuck closer to the door, Reiner's door (of course the big blondy would invite all the guys to his room just to gossip, disregarding the rules of curfew), and flipped the switch on the lantern, watching as the flames were covered by a metal dome, engulfed in darkness once again. You immediately forgot of your original quest of books.

"The girl is a total bitch." Connie. The little twerp was always the one to speak up or say whatever was on his mind.

"I feel like she could kill me with her stare." Jean again.

"What's wrong with Annie?" a voice spoke up quietly. It was Armin. The room became quiet. He went on. "She's nice."

"Dude," Connie said. "She's not nice."

"Hey, Armin has the hots for Annie," Reiner laughed. Everyone joined with him. You frowned in disgust. Poor Armin, being harassed like that, he must be embarrassed.

"Did you see how fast _ ran today?" asked Eren.

You felt the urge to just burst in there and glower at all of them while snarling, 'Heard you were talking shit about me,' but then you were over thinking everything and became overridden with anxiety. You decided to just stand still and listen.

"She ran faster than Annie and Mikasa!" Eren said.

"Tct. I could run faster," Jean muttered. Suddenly the room was filled with shouts of doubt. You smiled and covered your mouth to muffle your laughter.

"Didn't she pass out?" Marco asked. You were friends with the freckled boy. You didn't talk with him much though because Jean was always around him.

"Yeah, she did," answered Bertholdt. "And Eren carried her bridal style to the infirmary."

The room was filled with, "OOOOO!?" and you pinched the bridge of your nose and blushed, feeling as if you were actually in the room. You heard Reiner laugh and say, "Eren, aren't you, like, really close friends with her?" The room quieted down. You guessed they wanted to know too. Even you wanted to know his answer.

"Yeah…," Eren said slowly. Again the room was loud. "B-but," he said loudly over the noise, choosing his words carefully, "we're not that close. We're only friends."

You sighed in relief. That was what you were looking for. You think. Maybe? No-shut up. The room was filled with a chorus of 'aww's. Jean spoke up. "Blah. Eren and _ would make a horrible couple."

"What makes you say that? I find them very compatible,"Armin asked.

You imagine the scowl on Jean's face as he replied, "Well for one reason, she's so much smarter than the dumbass over there. She's like the female version of Armin. And two, she's extremely quiet. Shit, some of us can't even talk to her. She just stares blankly at you and walks away."

Both reasons were very true. You were very smart and sometimes engaged yourself in a hardcore conversation with Armin. And you were very shy. You didn't do well around people you just met. You didn't like meeting people at all. You were very socially awkward and literally giving off anxiety.

"I couldn't even flirt with her," said a disappointed Connie.

That was true, too. You were in an awful mood that day after being chewed out by Shadis for picking a fight with Jean for the first time. And Connie _had_ to sit at your table at lunch, though you preferred to sit alone. He kept trying to win you over or at least try to get you to show some emotion. He even followed you on your way to throw out your lunch. You got fed up and took his hand, smiling at him, and he blushed. But then your smile turned into a growl and you swept your foot under his legs, tripping him. You were still holding onto his hand, and he looked at you pleadingly, for it was the only thing holding him upright or he would have fallen. You let his hand drop.

You snickered quietly at the memory. You were stuck cleaning the bathrooms for a month. Though you felt very superior when you did that and regretted absolutely nothing.

The room exploded into laughter as they all remembered what had happened. "Why do you think that, Jean? You think she's not good enough for Eren?" Marco pressed.

"Or maybe you like _!" Reiner exploded. You blushed at the thought of dickwad Jean liking you. "O-of course not! Why would I like someone with a sour personality like her?" Jean spluttered.

"Whatever, but Eren totally likes her," you heard Connie say. _Fuck off of Eren_

"N-n-no I don't! I-well-I guess-wait!" Eren stuttered. The room exploded into laughter once again. Your eyebrows furrowed. "It's getting late, let's go-"

That was all you needed to hear. You mouthed,_ Oh shit!_, and stumbled away from the door as you heard people shuffle inside. You managed to make it around the dark corner just as the door opened and boys piled out. They were whispering and laughing quietly, making their way to their rooms. You looked around the corner and caught a glimpse of a blushing Eren rubbing the back of his neck walking with Armin. You looked at Reiner's door and found him staring at you in the dark. You stared back threateningly until he closed the door.

You stood up after a few moments of silence. _Well that was interesting_. You turned the lantern back on and made your way back to your room, more flustered and confused than ever.

—

_**This is my first Reader x Character Fic, so if you may please tell me how to improve. I absolutely suck. I'm not sure how to portray Eren's personality in this Fic. Should I make him some oblivious cutie or someone close to Jean's personality? I seriously don't know. Anyway, I think I'll continue this. I don't think there are many Reader X Character fics on tumblr but wahteves. I hope you can relate to some of the things in here, like the overridden with anxiety think. Boss reader is boss. I hope I have the hyperthermia thing right, I only have some vague knowledge of it.**_


	2. Chapter 2

**More Than A Whole Brigade**

**Reader x Eren Jaeger Part Two**

You arrived early to the cafeteria, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. The events of last night were still running through your head. There were barely any people sitting in the room. You went and got your breakfast, which consisted of oatmeal and a cup of water, and took a window seat. The sunlight would make you feel awake.

After a few minutes of silence and you picking at your hot oatmeal, you heard some laughter and loud chatter coming from the entrance of the room. You decided to ignore it; you were too tired to turn around to see who it came from. Yawning, you continued eating until someone set their tray right beside you rather forcefully, making you drop your spoon.

You looked up to see Reiner, grinning down at your deadpan face.

"Morning,_. How're you feeling?" he asked, sitting down beside you. Great. Then Connie sat to your other side. Peachy.

"Jim Dandy," you answer, leaning down to pick up your spoon. In front of you Jean sat down with Marco. Then Bertholdt sits down. You glower at them all, giving them a pretty clear message that you would like to be left alone.

"So,"Jean says, looking up you intently. "I heard you passed out yesterday."

You stare at him, still deadpan and chewing. "Yeah. What about it?"

"Nothing."

The table is filled with snickers, mostly on Connie's part. You turn your head to look at him and he stops abruptly. "Is there something that is going on that I should know…?" you ask, though you already know what it is.

Reiner put his arm around your shoulder, making you tense up. Its heavy against your neck, and you have to lean forward a little to shake it off. "I'm pretty sure you already know about it. You were eaves dropping on us talking about you…"

Everyone at the table turned to you at look while you took a sip of your water. Bertholdt started to sweat nervously. "You listened in on us last night?"

"I didn't want to stay in the infirmary overnight so I went to go to my room, but I heard some noise coming from your hall and I guess I was curious."

"How much did you hear?" Marco asked.

"I started listening when you guys were talking about Annie and pretty much heard everything until your little cult disbanded." You averted their gazes and focused on your oatmeal like it was the most important thing in the world. And it pretty much was because you were hungry.

"So is it true?" Connie asked, startling you.

"What?"

"About you and Eren."

"Co-"

"What are you guys doing?" a familiar voice spoke behind you. You twisted in your seat to look at Eren. He didn't look happy that the others were around you. He looked slightly panicked. He glanced down at you, but then his eyes flickered back up at the others.

You turned back to your meal as he took a seat diagonal from you. You wished he could sit beside you, and not Connie or Reiner.

"We're not doing anything to your girlfriend, Eren," Jean said.

You wanted to punch him. Really hard. Like right now, just punch him in the balls.

Eren blushed. "She's not my girlfriend. I thought I already told you." He glanced at your blushing face. You looked back at him.

"Answer my question,_," Connie demanded.

You nodded at Eren. "What he said."

The table was filled with groans. "Whatever," Jean said. "So what did you hear us say last night,_?"

"Wait, what-" Eren began but was cut off by Marco. "She was eaves dropping." Eren looked at you and you smiled.

You ate another spoonful of oatmeal before answering Jean. "Well, I heard that you might like me," you pointed your spoon at him, "and that you don't like me," you pointed your spoon at Eren, "which is quite relieving because we're just friends, and something about how fast I am and Eren carrying me bridal style." You glanced at the boys at the table.

Connie turned to Eren, "So when are you going to admit that you like her?"

"I don't have anything to admit."

Again, Reiner slung his arm around you. You tried to shake it off, but it stayed where it was. The large blond said, "Well, if he won't confess, then maybe _ will."

All eyes turned to you. God dammit. You turned pink from all this attention. You averted their eyes, most importantly Eren's, and replied, "F-fuck you, Braun. I don't have anything to confess."

They all sat back, disappointed, though Eren just looked relieved. Reiner 's arm was still around your shoulders, and it was getting really heavy by the minute. Eren noticed your discomfort and narrowed his eyes at Reiner.

"Get your arm off of her."

Reiner complied, putting his hands up in a 'whoa nelly' expression. "Alright, alright. She is your girl."

Jean chuckled in front you, "Jealous much?"

Eren turned pink and crossed his arms. "I'm not jealous. She just didn't want his arm on her."

The table was filled with laughter and shouts of doubt. You sighed, fed up, and looked down at your empty bowl and cup in front of you and stood. You left to put your tray back and walked out. A pair if turquoise eyes watched you intently as you left.

—

You were stuck delivering documents all day to your superiors. You really wished you hadn't met Hanji in the hall; she was the one who started this chain. She said she was busy and couldn't give Erwin her reports, so she asked if you could take it to him. You weren't busy of course and agreed.

Now you wish you hadn't.

You knocked on the Commander's door before opening the door just a crack, yellow folder in your hand full of Hanji's reports.

"…going to have a fucking field day when we capture those titans," a quiet but stern voice remarked inside. You opened the door wider, revealing Lance Corporal Levi standing in front of Erwin's desk, where the Commander sat, fingers laced together in his lap.

They both turned to you as you saluted and said, "Sorry to interrupt, Sirs, but second squad leader Hanji asked me to give you this." You handed Erwin the folder of reports, who opened them at once.

Levi looked you up and down, his eyes emotionless, before turning back to the Commander. You glanced at him sideways, and he noticed and did the same. You held his dark gaze, thinking maybe you could make him explode or spontaneously combust with your eyes, but then Erwin interrupted your silent battle with Levi.

"Thank you. What is your name?" Erwin asked.

"_, sir."

"Oh. Hanji told me a lot about you. While you're here, I need you to give this paper to her. I can't deliver it on my own due to my work."

You nodded in understanding and took the paper. "You're welcome, Commander," you replied, saluting and left.

You looked down at the paper. It was titled as _Expedition._

_Oh?_

You walked down the hall, eyes still on the paper but looking up to make sure you don't run into anything. You knew you shouldn't be reading this, but your curiosity got the better of you. Well, most of it was that, with a dash of fear.

_Second Squad Leader Hanji. We are going on an expedition outside the walls in hopes of capturing more titans for your experiments. I hope you find this information enlightening. _

Of course Hanji would love this information. She's ballistic for titans.

_If we are able to successfully capture a titan, I would like you to choose two cadets that you find worthy of to help you in the experiments you will perform. _

You knew the first person she would choose: Armin. She just adored the kid because of his smarts. She liked you too, and you did like to engage in hardcore conversations with her, but you knew she could never choose you for this. Not that you wanted to do it anyway.

You quickly scanned over the rest, reading small parts.

…_extra tanks of gas…__…held at the end of week…__…forest of giant trees…__…with help of Eren Jaeger's titan transformation ability… _

Hold up.

You stopped dead in your tracks. That's right, you heard of Eren's ability, but you had never seen it. Not many people saw it either, but his ability was real. Was the Commander planning to use Eren's ability to capture a titan?

You continued on the long trek to Hanji's office. You knocked on her door and a voice called from inside, "Come in!"

You opened the door, revealing the familiar cluttered room of Hanji Zoe. She sat at her desk, scribbling something down on a page before her. She turned around as you saluted, fist to heart.

"Oh! _! Nice to see you again, hon. What's that you got there?"

"Commander Erwin asked me to give you this," you explained, handing her the paper.

You watched as her eyes travelled from left to right quickly, glee openly showing on her face. She jumped up, shouting, "Yahoo~!" You couldn't help but smile at her happiness; it was just so contagious.

She turned to you, a hint of scientist madness in her eyes. "I can't believe Erwin is going to let me have more titans!"

"That's great," you said. "Now we can continue the experiments on the titans and gain more information on them."

Hanji looked down at you. "Say, didn't you borrow one of my books?"

"Three of them actually. The ones on evolution, titans, and plants."

"Did you find them interesting?"

"Of course! Who knew we went through so many stages to become what we are now! And I never knew plants functioned like that."

She giggled at your excitement. "Good, good. Now could you give this to Mike?"

Everyone you visited to give documents to had something for you to deliver. When you were done, you went back to your room, tired from running around and going to the wrong places and looking for people. The only thing that was on your mind was the expedition that was planned to happen at the end of the week.

What day was it? Tuesday, right. You still had a few days to prepare, physically and mentally.

Of course you're afraid to go on another expedition. Titans were humanity's predators. You haven't engaged with them much but you have experience killing them. But no matter how terrifying they were, it was your duty as a member of the Survey Corps to kill them and aid humanity strike back and finally leave the walls.

It was like what Eren would say, something about staying in the walls and living like cattle, or leaving them and being the freest person in the world.

_**Sorry for the late and short chapter. I was over at my grandmother's for New Year's and they didn't have any internet and I fucked up really badly while writing this on my laptop because I left it on the bed and basically one of the little kids broke it and I lost all of my damn files. So I pretty rewrote this like, what three times already? And The Phantom of the Opera crossover thing might come a little late ,too. Part three was on the laptop and now its gone.**_

_**Yeah, the screen kinda cracked and now there's blackness by the cracks and lots of funky lines. I always fuck up when I go somewhere, god dammit.**_

_**Reader learns an important piece of information…huehuehue**_

_**Guys, I promise I won't be late ever again. I'll post up a new chapter every week if I can, again I'm sorry.**_


	3. Chapter 3

**More Than a Whole Brigade**

**Reader x Eren Jaeger Part 3**

The next morning everyone was called outside in the courtyard for an exercise, the 50 meter wall looming above you. You glanced around at your fellow comrades lined up, legs apart and arms behind their backs. Your eyes fell on a particular dark haired titan shifter.

"Alright, you fucking brats," shouted Levi, the short man standing with Hanji and Shadis in front of you all. "Today you are going to practice a bit with your gear. I want you to climb up the wall and come back down."

That's all?

"That's all," he said, as if reading your thoughts.

You saluted with your comrades and ran to get your gear. You tightened your straps before running up to the wall. You looked back, hurting your neck from pulling it back too far.

"Ready?" asked a voice beside you.

You turned to look at Eren, Armin, and Mikasa. "Hey guys," you said.

The three gave you smiles and you smiled back. You stepped back, aiming your hooks at the wall high above you. They embedded themselves into the wall, chunks of concrete flying. You flung yourself upward, climbing swiftly up the wall like a spider. You friends followed you, Eren right beside you with Mikasa close to his side. Armin struggled a bit beside you, but managed to keep your pace.

"Mikasa, you don't need to baby me! I'm fine," complained Eren.

She glared at him from below her dark locks. "I'll just stay here in case you need help."

"I've trained for three years and mastered this. I don't think I need help climbing up a wall."

You snickered. It was funny how protective Mikasa was of Eren. He really appreciated it, but he found it annoying when she babied him.

Armin smiled at his friend, "Mikasa you can go ahead, _ is here."

You whipped your head around to face him, "Don't give me that responsibility!"

He laughed as Mikasa uttered a curt, "Okay," and flung herself ahead.

Eren chuckled, "Hi there, new Mikasa."

"Shut up."

He burst out laughing and you went on ahead, the burst of gas spraying in his face. Now you were laughing, as well as Armin. Eren growled and caught up to you, the other boy close behind him.

"What the fuck,_!"

"Ere-" you started but was caught off by someone slamming into you from behind. In your surprise, you released the hooks on the wall, reaching up to grab something by instinct. You hand caught onto Eren's leg, and you watched the person, Connie, laugh with glee and disappear over the top of the wall.

"Are you alright,_?" asked Armin. You nodded, releasing your grip on Eren and latching yourself on the wall.

"He could have killed you!" Eren exclaimed. He was obviously angry that the careless boy had put you into any sort of danger.

"That wasn't nice," Armin said.

"I'm going to punch him," you said, an edge in your voice. "I'm going to kick his balls, and then kill him."

"I'm not sure that's the best course of action…," Armin replied, a little concerned at your deathly behavior.

"Of course it isn't. I have to kick his balls, _then_ punch him and kill him."

"That's not what I meant."

You sighed, then continued your way up. The top of the wall was very close. You used a burst of gas to fling yourself over the top, skidding to a halt on the concrete.

You gazed around at your comrades, who stood and chatted, admiring the view. You looked at the houses and buildings below. Orange and red tiled roofs littered the houses, making them look as if they were the morning sun. You looked behind you, where the destroyed buildings of Wall Maria stood. It was nearly five years ago when the Colossal Titan arrived, kicking a hole in the walk and disappearing just as fast as it had came, leaving a trail of steam. And it came five years later again, kicking another hole in Wall Rose, but Jaeger turned into a titan and sealed the hole.

Titans still entered through the hole in the wall, roaming the cities. You grimaced, watching their movements and their disgusting faces, faces that resembled humans somewhat.

Behind you, Eren, Armin, and Mikasa stood, eyes trained below. You looked behind your shoulder at Eren, his eyes full of hatred as they glanced at the titans. You knew of his intentions to kill all of them, but one does not simply 'kill all titans.' You admired that bravery of his, as well as his persistence, determination, and stubbornness, no matter how much of an as that made him.

You glanced at Armin, his blue orbs staring off somewhere beyond the walls. You remembered the book he allowed you to read once you became a part of the little trio, the one of the lands outside the walls. Reading it enabled you to share their dream of freeing mankind and taking back the lands humanity longed to roam again.

Mikasa's eyes gazed into the sky, deadpan and emotionless. You knew from spending time with her that she was sad that they were forced to live within the walls. All she cared about were her friend and family, especially Eren. All she cared about was that they somehow got out of the walls with the ones she cared and loved.

"It's pretty," you said, breaking the silence. "More or less."

"It'd be great if we could plug up that hole, like how we did with Rose," Armin suggested.

"It'd be great if we just killed them all already," Eren responded, crossing his arms.

"Eren, things take time," Mikasa replied.

"But we have Levi, humanity's strongest. He can do something!"

"Humanity's strongest is human, Eren," replied Armin. "They have their limits, even someone like him."

Eren sighed, still frustrated.

"We should probably go back down," you announced. The three agreed, and you four walked back to the other side, stepping over the tracks on the concrete.

You watched as your friends launched their hooks into the wall before jumping off. You, however, liked to jump off before latching on. You stepped off the side of the wall, empty air beneath your feet and you began to fall. You twisted around in the air, shooting your hooks into the wall and planting your feet on it.

"That was cool _!" Armin complimented.

"Thanks."

"Even I can't do that. Too scary," Mikasa added.

You and the others made your ways down the wall, some more clumsily than others. Sasha bumped into you, uttering a quick, "Sorry!" before straightening herself.

At least she apologized.

You all finally made your way back to the ground. You hopped off from your place in the wall, letting your legs go limp so the impact wouldn't hurt as much.

"Hey,_!"

You turned to the owner of the voice: Krista. She running to you, Ymir close behind her. The blonde looked concerned as slowed to a stop in front of you. Ymir scowled, obviously not wanting to be here.

"I saw that you almost fell. Are you okay?"

You nodded, "I'm fine, thanks."

"Connie ought to learn he shouldn't do that! Oh, it makes me mad that he did that on purpose."

"Why should you be worried?" the tall brunette spoke behind her in a harsh tone. "Care about yourself and not others."

"Ymir! Don't be rude!"

"I'm just saying." Ymir gave you a sideway glance, one full of dislike. You furrowed your eyebrows, frowning. You didn't really understand her anger. How should you have known that Connie was going to slam into you like that?

"I'm sorry," Krista apologized, though it should have been Ymir. You watched as the two walked away, bickering at each other.

"What was that about?"

You look beside you to find Eren standing there, arms crossed and looking a little angry. He averted your gaze, eyes trained at the bickering girls.

"Just Ymir, being her asshole self as usual."

He chuckled lightly. Suddenly you heard Levi's rude calls for everyone to gather. "Come on," Eren said and took your wrist, leading you to where everyone stood.

You felt there was no need for him to grab your wrist or to lead you there, but you let him anyway, hoping no one would notice Eren's hand so close to yours. He let go of your wrist, hand dangling at his side as you both watched Levi make an announcement.

"You shitty brats better prepare yourselves. We're going on another expedition at the end of the week!"

You watched as your comrades stiffen at the sound of the word 'expedition'. You weren't surprised; no one liked them, even if they were for the betterment of humanity. You felt Eren tensed up beside you, staring determinedly at Levi as he continued.

"On this expedition we are capturing titans. You hear that? No killing. Dismissed."

You saluted with everyone else and then headed back to the barracks, Eren beside you.

"So," you said," ready for another expedition?"

"Hell yeah!"

"You really are some suicidal bastard, Eren."

"I still don't get why you call me that."

"Oh my god, Eren, you are so clueless," you breath, pressing your palm to your head. "I call you that because you always do reckless things disregarding your life."

"When have I-"

You flicked his forehead, making him blink and stop walking. You were the only ones in the hallway now.

"Ow. What the hell."

You sighed. "Eren, are you planning on getting on the list for the expedition?"

He scratched behind his neck. "Well, obviously. I'll do what I can to contribute to humanity-"

"Eren, just _please_ be careful this expedition. I don't want you to be on that burning pile."

He stared at you, stricken. "Why are you worried about me like you can handle the expedition and I can't? I should be telling you that, too."

"But then you'll be acting like you can handle it."

"Oh shut up, _."

"Just don't die, Eren!"

"I won't!" he replied, determined. "And I don't want you to die either,_."

You blushed a little at how intensely he was staring at you. "Okay," you said. "I won't."

You both started waking aimlessly, not really knowing where to go. _Or maybe because he just wants to spend time with me and doesn't want to go_, you thought, a small tugging at the corner of your lips.

"And," Eren started, turning his head to face you, a grin on his face, "if you get into trouble, I'll swoop right in and take you away from it."

"I'm not some damsel in distress, Jaeger," you growled despite the smile on your face. "I went through three years of training and mastered everything- everything except that stupid sparring section of it."

"You can't spar well? I always thought you graduated with a pretty good score on that. I mean, you knocked Connie over on his ass and fought Jean a couple times."

"Okay, that time with Connie was one of my moments. I wasn't in the mood that day for his flirtatious comments," you giggled at the memory. "And the fights with Jean were never settled. You or Shadis stepped in before we could finish."

"That's true."

You looked around, trying to see where you had walked to. You were by the doors that lead to the garden out back.

"Want to go outside?" Eren asked.

You responded by opening the door and bowing elegantly, saying, "Through the door, M'lady." Eren laughed, "I'm a guy."

"Wow you really killed the fancy moment."

You both walked out the door, the cool morning air hitting your faces. You took a deep breath, the crisp air entering your lungs. You loved the fall. You looked around at the garden, eyes passing over its many plants. Most of them were wilted because of the cold weather, but some strong ones held on, like the marigolds and trees.

"Pretty," Eren remarked.

You walked ahead of him, which soon turned into a jog, but then turned into a fast sprint. You ran through the pathways of the garden, your boots hitting the cobblestone. "_!" you heard him call behind you, but you ignored it. The air was just so intoxicating.

You stopped short at a large oak tree, its trunk huge and thick. You laid a hand on the bark, breathing hard from the running. The bark was rough yet cold. You could imagine the many cells that made up the tree, functioning and doing their daily basis.

"What the hell,_," Eren panted, coming to a stop beside you. He laid his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath.

"Don't do that," you said.

"Hah?"

"Don't hunch over like that," you repeated. He straightened, still breathing hard. "Put your arms behind your head. Opens up your lungs better."

He did so, arms behind his head, crossed. "Oh. Better," he eyed you. "You're starting to sound like Armin."

"I've always sounded like him."

"True."

You looked up at the tree, biting the inside of your cheek and squinting. You walked around its trunk, looking up and down. Eren watched with a puzzled look on his face. You jumped, hands grabbing onto a low branch. You laid your feet on the side of the tree for support and managed to plant your bottom on the branch.

You began climbing, choosing the right branches and testing your weight on them before advancing. "Come on, Eren!" you called down. He jumped up, grabbing the branch and effortlessly pulling himself up. He followed you, calling back, "Wait up!"

You blew a raspberry and continued to climb until you found a fork in the tree. You sat down between the branches, leaning forward so you could lay your head on your arms on the branch in front of you. There was a rustle of leaves and grunts before Eren popped up below you, choosing to sit on a branch just by your feet.

"You're like a cat," he remarked, smiling.

"My dad calls me that. He says that I could pretty much find a place or position to get comfy in."

"How do you climb so well?"

"I had experience with it when I was a kid. The other girls and boys were mean to me. Sometimes the boys would chase me, and the only way to get away was by climbing a tree or going inside a house."

He tilted his head to look at you. You stared down at his face as he asked, "Why were they mean to you?"

You looked away, scratching off some of the bark on the tree with your nail. You hit a particular hard spot that you couldn't scratch off, so moved your hand somewhere else. "Because I belonged to a family with almost nothing. My dad worked in a steel mill that barely paid him anything." You stopped scratching at the bark to let that sink in. "And maybe because I was weaker than them," you added.

"You're not weak," the dark haired boy said, not looking at you. Instead his eyes were fixed on the scenery between the leaves: the blowing plants, the horses eating on the hay bales, or the wall looming over the ground, casting a dark shadow. You stared back down at him, startled by his comment.

"You killed six titans last expedition and assisted with thirteen others. And you never give up, no matter what the situation is. You always help when comrades are in trouble, either jumping right in or coming up with a plan to reduce the casualties." He turned around to face you, turquoise eyes boring into your (e/c) orbs. "You're not weak."

You blinked, a slight blush warming your face. "Thanks, Eren," you said, truly uplifted. "I needed that, though that kind of sound like you were describing yourself."

He turned around, letting his head fall back and touch the thick trunk he was propped up by. "You and are I very alike, _."

"That why we get along so easily?"

"I guess so. Or you can actually tolerate my pigheadedness," he said, tapping his knuckles on his head.

You laughed at his words. He was pigheaded indeed. You shifted around in your spot, feeling uncomfortable. You slung you leg over the side of the branch and lowered yourself onto the branch behind Eren.

"What are you doing?" He watched you as you sat behind him, wedging yourself between him as the trunk. He shuffled inches away a little to give you space.

"What does it look like? I'm getting comfortable on this branch. The one I was just in sucks."

"Oh. Okay." He turned away, but you could see the slight blush on his face that reached down to his neck. You inched forward, dropping your chin on his shoulder. He jumped a little at the contact.

"Don't be so jumpy," you said sleepily. The blush on your face felt warm, despite it giving away your embarrassment. You were really warm with your body pressed against Eren's, and you didn't get a good sleep, and you were tired from the exercise from before, and you just wanted to sleep in the position you were in. You knew if anyone saw you two like this they would get the wrong idea. You felt you didn't have to worry because you were concealed by all the leaves and branches.

You felt him relax as the moments ticked by, getting used to your body against his. You could still see the blush on his face only getting pinker. You bet yourself five bucks the kid's mind was racing. Of course, you had no way to prove it and you had no money, so that bet with yourself was pretty useless. Who bets with themselves anyways?

_I do,_ you thought to yourself. _That's why my only best friend is Eren._

You chuckled to yourself, making Eren turn his head slightly to look at you. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing."

A few moments of silence passed by before you opened your mouth again, "You know they're going to use your titan ability to help capture the titans?"

"No I didn't, but I was thinking in my head they would."

"I've never seen you in your titan form before. How do you trigger it? What happens? How does it feel?"

He smiled, staring at the ground below him where some cadets entered the garden. Was he really that eager to answer your questions?

_How self-indulgent._

But as he began to tell you his experiences, you soon raised it wasn't that. Eren Jaeger was just happy to lengthen his time with you.

And that made you happy, too.

_**Hope I got the wall part right, I'm pretty clueless. I think they need to plug up the hole in Trost? I don't know. If I got anything wrong let me know so I can fix it. Disclaimer: Own nothing.**_

_**Keep the reviews coming they make me happy. Next chapter will be longer than the others I hope, and the ones after those. Reader pretty brave near the end, eh? Im not sure about The Phantom of the Opera chapter, but I'm working on making it better.**_

_**Thanks for reading!**_

**Edit:**_** Thanks you, Miss Writer 04 for clearing up the wall part for me. When I found out I had it wrong the first time I wrote this I went back to fix it. Stupid me for not looking at the wiki enough.**_

_***forehead slams into keyboard* oh god my brother just walked by what do**_


	4. Chapter 4

**More Than a Whole Brigade**

**Reader x Eren Jaeger Part Four**

It had been a long week, waiting for the end of it and preparing for the expedition. Those days of helping Hanji make sure everything was accounted for were well paid of, for now you sat on your horse with everyone else who made it on the list for the expedition. You sighed, legs trembling with anticipation to pull on the reins and urge your horse forward.

You couldn't believe you made it on the list. Of course they would take you; you were pretty handy with the gear, but that was because you had a lot more time to practice when you joined the Survey Corps. You had improved drastically, from graduating outside of the Top Ten to ending up with the skills of someone who actually graduated there, like Eren or Mikasa.

Well, not Mikasa. You could never surpass her.

Your gaze wandered over your comrades, who sat on their horses. You looked to your right, where Eren sat. You realized he had been looking at you this whole time.

You were about to say something to him but you heard Erwin yell out, "The gates are opening!"

You grimaced, sitting upright and tensing up. Well, here you go…out of the walls…to capture a titan or two. You rubbed your temple; God, you couldn't believe you were going out on your second expedition.

You heard the loud rumble of stone rubbing against stone as the gate opened up to its full length, the spikes at the bottom covered in dirt.

"Forward!"

You tugged at your reins and leaned forward. Your horse began to gallop forward.

_Don't die._

You could literally hear the goddamn bastard's voice in your head from days ago.

_Like I will, Eren._

You took a deep breath and closed your eyes, nearing the gate. You passed through and exhaled, opening your eyes. You were in titan territory now.

The brigade galloped through the old town, passing the destroyed and crumbling houses. So far there were no titans. That was good…or bad if you put some thought into it. Your mind began racing, your eyes glancing from side to side. Any moment a titan could appear. It could be an abnormal titan. Or a regular titan. If that was the case, then a regular titan would be much easier to predict.

You hated abnormals.

"Ten meter! To the left!"

You turned just as a dark shadow loomed over you. The ten meter stood behind a building ahead of you, it reached out a hand to try to grab someone. You passed by, the hand grazing your head, and you let out a stifled screech. You resisted the urge to pull out your blades and cut its fingers off; you had to leave the cutting to the squads assigned for the job.

You dug your heels into the horse's side and he picked up his pace. You looked over your shoulder and watched the squad circle the titan, gas flying everywhere.

You turned to face forward again, and soon you were faced with open plains instead of town ruins. For as far as you could see, there was only green grass and a few trees dotted the horizon. Now it was time to get into formation.

"Don't die, Eren," you said to the dark hair boy as he leaned forward on his horse a few meters beside you.

He gave you a reassuring smile. "I won't. Don't you die either." And with that he galloped off to the Special Ops Squad, where they were headed to the safest place in the formation.

You were more along the side. Not the safest place in the formation, but at least you weren't in the spot where you were most likely to face titans. You continued onward, the nearest person to you being Krista, who held onto another horse beside her. Even if she was the nearest to you, she was still quite far away.

You let out a groan to channel out some of your emotions. You were just waiting for something to happen. Suddenly there was a loud pop and a streak of red danced across the sky.

A titan has been spotted.

You grabbed your canon and opened the case of flares, but Krista beat you to sending out another. A green flare shot into the sky, signaling a change in direction. You tugged at your reins, moving your horse in the direction the green flare showed.

Then there was another red flare. This went on for a while: red flares, more of them, and course changes. You were still on edge, despite the lack of titans. And that's what exactly kept you on edge. That's what was making you worry.

Suddenly there was another familiar pop, but instead of a red flare, it was black. Your stomach churned.  
There were abnormals nearby. More black flares shot up from the same direction. Something was up.

You watched in the distance as a titan popped out from the tree line. From the way it walked, it was definitely abnormal. It was headed your way. Your hand flew to the canon and you hurriedly grabbed onto the black flare. You frantically clicked it into place and raisers your arm, pulling the trigger and sending the smoke into the air.

The abnormal was close, and there wasn't anybody nearby that was more skilled than you, like a superior officer. But you couldn't let the thing get to you, or the center of the formation. You had to fight it.

You pulled out your blades as the thundering footsteps grew louder. You turned to look at Krista, who was already grabbing onto her blades. There were no trees or buildings around, so killing the titan would be more difficult than it already was.

You launched yourself at the titan, hooks plunging into its skin. With a burst of gas you circled it.

"Krista! Get the ankle!"

She raised her blades, hooks digging into the titans leg as it faltered. It reached over to you, but you quickly dodged it. With it distracted on you, Krista moved in quickly, slashing at its ankle.

Not deep enough.

You growled, sending your hooks into the ground in front of the titan. You skidded across the ground, turning around while doing so. Krista fell back, trying to get her hooks into something so she could try again. You glanced at her and the blonde seemed to know what you were thinking. With a slight nod from the both of you, you launched yourself forward with a burst of gas, slashing at its ankle as Krista dug her blades into the back of its knee.

The titan fell to its knees. You fell back, watching Krista move in and get the nape. Blood splattered on her green cloak, steam rushing off of it.

"Great job,_!"

"Thanks! You too!"

You quickly returned to your horse, who was waiting patiently from a distance. You turned in the new direction, which surprised you. You were headed for somewhere new. Where were you going?

Were you heading in this direction because of the abnormals?

After a few more minutes of galloping passed by, you could see the tree line in the distance. But those trees were humongous. What…

_Oh._

'Big-ass trees.'

—

Eren looked around frantically, having witnessed the massacre the titans left behind. Half of the supply carts were wiped out because the group of abnormals came rushing in.

"Eren, keep your eyes forward," Auruo ordered beside him.

"Yes, sir!"

He sighed, the familiar feeling in his stomach increasing with every second. He wanted it to go away, but he knew that wouldn't happen until thy returned to the walls.

A green flare shot into the sky, showing the new direction.

Eren turned his horse in the new direction with the others. He spotted the trees in the distance, the Forest of Giant Trees. Were they going to capture a titan there? It would make sense because there were many trees there, and that would make it easier to move around on the gear in order to catch one. He just hoped the mass of titans were not following them there.

_Just don't die, Eren!_

Eren smiled, closing his eyes. Like he would. He made a promise and he was going to keep it. After all, he didn't want his best friend to see him on that burning pile, or vice versa. He wondered how his friend was doing, if she was still alive. No, she was. He knew.

He opened his eyes, full of new determination. She had promised, too.

—

Once you and some of your other comrades got to the Forest, you were ordered to stand guard on the trees. You were to alert your superiors if a titan entered the forest. You still weren't sure of the process of capturing a titan. This way only your second expedition. The last one was more of a patrol or something, just so the new guys could see how it was. You at least thought that was how it was.

You leaned against the trunk of the giant tree, eyes scanning the horizon. "Hey,_!"

You turned to look at Jean standing on the branch beside you. "What?" you asked.

"Do you still have gas?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Well, I saw that you and Krista brought down that abnormal, and your looked like you user a lot of your gas."

Was Jean, the horse-face who would always pick fights with you, worried about you?

The thought kinda sickened you, like it was against nature for a guy like him to be so considerate.

"I'm fine, Jean. And when have you ever been this nice?"

He scoffed. "I could be nice."

You huffed, a strand of hair blowing off of your face. You turned away from Jean and looked to the horizon. You spotted movement. Frowning, you latched your hooks higher into the tree to get a better look.

"What are you doing now,_?" you heard someone ask below you, Reiner. You didn't answer, instead peered through the leaves of the tree.

You gasped.

Titans.

You grabbed onto your canon as the mass of titans neared, three out of the seven abnormal. "Guys," you called down, "there's a large group of titans headed our way. Three are abnormal!"

"Shit! I'll fire the black smoke round," Jean replied, grabbing onto his canon.

You lifted your hand and pulled the trigger, the loud pop following very quickly afterward. You pressed your canon back into your belt and hopped down.

"I'm going to alert the others," you announced. Jean nodded, "Careful."

You nodded, then saluted your friends with the flick of your wrist. You hopped off the branch, shooting your hooks into the trees. Your mind was racing; where was Eren? Was he already in the forest or was he somewhere else? Was he still alive?

And what about Mikasa and Armin? Were they alive? Maybe the mass of titans had reached them, maybe Eren was trapped in a tree, out of gas, maybe-

You gasped, swerving to the side around a tree, your shoulder banging into it. You hissed sharply, your shoulder throbbing from the impact.

_Stay alert,_. They're fine…_ You forced yourself to take a deep breath and calm down. Now was not the time to get your imagination worked up, or your fears. You had to alert the others, and Erwin of the titans about to enter.

They probably didn't see your smoke round, for you hadn't seen anyone shoot another; and the thick brush of the trees covered most of the sky. That was what you were supposed to do; if you saw a flare, send another of the same color in hopes of catching the Commander's attention. That way he could plan ahead and send the formation in a new direction, avoiding titans.

You flew through the air, dodging trees and branches. Finally, you spotted carts below you and Erwin standing on a branch, speaking to the squad leaders. You spotted Eren and the Special Operations Squad standing nearby. You realized you were holding your breath, and you exhaled, relaxing. He was fine.

You spun in the air, a whir of green, dodging a tree and landing on the branch next to Eren. He jumped, startled by your sudden entrance.

"_! You're okay!"

"Good to see you a-okay, Eren," you replied with a smile.

"What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be at the entrance of the forest?"

"Yeah, but I came to alert Erwin. There's a large group of titans coming in."

He nodded. Then he smiled at you, saying, "I'm glad you're okay."

You rolled your eyes, blushing slightly. "We've established that. And the expedition's not over so don't get worked up over me being okay. I could still die any moment now."

"Don't be so blunt about it!"

You snickered, jumping onto his branch. "I gotta go," you said, giving him a little wave and making your way to the Commander.

You jumped onto the branch where he stood with Hanji and Levi. You saluted and barked, "Commander! There's a large group of titans heading into the forest."

"Mm. Cadet _, how many?"

"About seven, sir. Three of them abnormal."

Hanji giggled beside Levi, glee in her eyes. "Perfect~!"

"Tsk. Shut up, shitty glasses."

Erwin was silent for a moment, thinking. He turned back to you and said, "Thank you, Cadet." You inclined your head as he turned to the two squad leaders. "The number of titans are alarming. We already have sighted another group at the edge of the forest. Currently they are making their way here. It would be quite difficult to capture a titan."

"Sir," you spoke up, drawing the attention of the three of them. "We are going to use Eren's titan ability?"

"Yes."

"And how many titans did you say were making their way here?"

He raised an eyebrow at your inquire, not knowing where you were going with this.

"Well?" you pressed, a little too forcefully.

"Oi, don't talk to your Commander like that," Levi hissed.

Erwin put up a hand, silencing him before he could go any further and many anymore mot remarks. The blond gazed down at you, answering, "About four."

You bit the inside of your cheeks and squinted, thinking. You paced around the thick branch, babbling. "If we move the carts from the ground and hide them, we can ensure nothing gets broken. If we lure the titans here, we can see how many there are for real. The abnormal titans will make it hard for us to predict their movements, so we can lure them somewhere else."

Erwin nodded, scratching his neck. "That way the ones who lured the abnormals away can quickly kill them without getting distracted by the regular titans," he added.

"And Hanji only wants normal titans, right?" you asked, eyes on her.

She nodded, "I don't want to bring an abnormal into the walls. It's too dangerous and catching an unpredictable titan will surely cost us some of our soldiers."

"So," you said, no longer pacing around, "Hanji could pick out which titan she wants, and we could lure half of the mass away. Then, we dispose of the titans she doesn't need, and continue in capturing the ones she does."

You turned back to look at the three. "And if we need to, we can use Eren's titan ability to help capture them."

Hanji and Erwin nodded, understanding your plan. Levi just looked bored. He said, "So are we going with this brat's plan?"

Erwin nodded as Hanji beamed down at you, both equally impressed. "We'll go with your plan."

Levi pinched the bridge of his nose and muttered, "Can't believe a brat came up with that." Then he spoke more louder, "This better fucking work or we're all dead."

You nodded, "It should. I'll let you three work it out." And with that you jumped off, hopping from branch to branch to get to Eren, who stared at you with wide eyes as you landed on his branch clumsily. You tipped back, but he leaned forward and grabbed your shirt, pulling you back up.

"Thanks-"

"You have no idea how glad I am to be your friend."

You blinked, a little disoriented. "Hah?"

He averted your gaze, tugging at his sleeves. "You should use that brain more often. It'll help someone one day."

You stared at him and a scratched the back of your head. "Sure can do."

You waited on the branch beside him as Erwin explained your plan. He had ordered the squads guarding the entrance of the forest to come to where you all were, leading the titans. You were assigned to kill the titans Hanji wouldn't need.

Everyone was in position. The thundering footsteps of the titans grew nearer, gradually getting louder. Titans burst through the vegetation from all sides. One squad caught the attention of the abnormal titans, taunting them by yelling remarks and slashing at their skin. One titan grabbed onto a wire and pulled, taking down the person attached to it. The four meter titan took the person and began eating, his screams dying out.

You resisted the urge to jump in as another titan took hold of another of your comrade. With the abnormals lured away, the squad could begin hacking off the skin on their napes.

"Hanji," Erwin said. The woman beside him looked up at him. "Which one do you want?"

She let a shuddering laugh and pointed at a six meter scratching at the bark of a tree, trying to get up. It's long brown hair fell to its shoulders, grazing them.

"The six meter. And that four meter titan." She pointed to the small one staring up longingly at a tree, the people in it eyeing it. The four meter had blond hair that was growing close to its scalp. You shuddered at the horrifying faces of the titans and the hungry noises that came out of their mouths.

There were eight titans standing in the clearing, all reaching up to the trees. Erwin raised his voice for all to hear, "Don't kill the six and for meter down there!" He pointed at the squad beside him, "Go to the other side. Lure some of the titans there."

"Roger!"

You watched as the squad of five, Jean, Connie, Sasha, Moblit, and Ymir, launched themselves to the other side, landing in the trees.

Two of the titans on the overcrowded side turned as they landed in the trees. They were getting attracted by the mass if soldiers there.

_It's working…_

Erwin ordered, "On my command, all squads slash at the necks, except for the six and four meter!"

And then it happens. A fifteen meter bursts through the clearing, ruining the whole plan. Another titan follows it, a ten meter. You watched in horror as the fifteen meter reached up and grabbed Sasha, screaming.

_No, no, no, no._

You lunged forward, drawing your blades as the titans brings Sasha to its mouth. "_!" you heard Eren shout behind you. With a burst of gas, you slashed at the titan's nape, hot blood splattering all over your clothes. Sasha screeched as the titan let her go and she quickly dug her hooks high into the tree. You landed on a branch, looking down from above at the massacre.

The more titans in one area, the more they were going to attract. You had forgotten to take one thing into account and now you endangered your comrades. You looked up at Erwin, who stared at you. You couldn't hold his gaze, so you looked away.

"Men! Draw back!" he shouted.

This was your fault. You stared down in horror at the titans huddled around each other, trying to desperately get a bite from the soldiers in their hands.

_So much blood…_

"_!"

_All…_

"We have to go!"

_..All your…_

"_!"

…_fault…_

That's when the titan grabbed you.

_**Oh god my heart. *dies and falls off of chair* **_

_**Here it is, a cliff hanger at the end. Thanks for reviews and the not much review from my older sister. Lol. I don't know what to say…If I mess up any information while writing this just tell me. The Phantom of the Opera thing is going to be put off to the side for a while. No motivation…uhhhh*slides off chair and curls up into ball*.**_

_**I don't own anything.**_

_**Uhh, Eren owns you.**_

_**Huehuehuehu…**_

_**Im evil**_


	5. Chapter 5

**More Than a Whole Brigade**

**Reader x Eren Jaeger Part Five**

You were falling.

And you were about to die, but for some reason, you didn't care. You gave up.

Everything happened so fast. The titan had grabbed onto you, but only your leg, pulling you off the branch. You heard someone scream your name, Eren, and then there was a flash of bright light, like lightning.

And before the titan or you could react, a giant hand came out of nowhere, grabbing onto the titan's head, another hand reaching for you. Before anything could register in your mind, you were caught in another hand, but this time one that wasn't holding you so tightly, and you were moving, and the hand placed you back on a branch.

More confused than ever, you watched as Eren's titan form began to engage in the titans, his back towards you.

He saved you.

Tears welled up in your eyes. Why, in that split moment, did you give up? You gave up on fighting back, you gave up on living, and you could have broken your promise to Eren. You couldn't let him fight alone; he was already getting overwhelmed. You jumped off the branch, blades raised. You latched onto a titan that was biting onto Eren's leg and aimed for its nape, blades cutting off a chunk of skin.

Eren roared, pulling his head back as the titans surrounded him. You spun around, blades flying and cutting into more flesh. Steaming hot blood flew everywhere, drops of it landing on your clothes and face. It began to let off steam, evaporating like it will always do. You let out a shout of pain as blood fell into your right eye, burning it. You jumped back, a titans hand hitting you in the stomach. You fell back into a tree and slid down to the ground, clutching your eye.

You watched as Eren roared again, his fifteen meter form pulling off another titan and throwing it aside. Levi burst through the trees, more soldiers following. A stray titan, a three meter, turned its head toward you, but you couldn't see because of your blind side. You let out a stifled scream as hands wrapped around your waist. The soldiers that had just arrived began to hack away at the titans as more came, attracted to Eren's roars. A squad used the chaos to drop a net onto a titan, trapping it.

You screamed again, tears falling down your cheeks as the titan brought you up to its face, and you stared into its large hazel eyes, eyes full of hunger.

Eren turned to the sound of your voice and ran forward, eyes desperate. You could feel the titan's teeth graze your head before they quickly rushed away. You fell back, looking up at the titan shifter slam the three meter against a tree, a fist penetrating its weak spot. Eren turned to you and leaned down, eyes full of worry.

You stared up at his face. It was so much different than he his human face; face bony and chin jutting out, nose and ears pointed. Long dark hair fell into his eyes, grazing his shoulders. His teeth showed, lined up, giving him a menacing look. He picked you up gently and set you on his shoulder, where you latched your hooks into his skin. He turned and looked around at the remaining soldiers and titans.

Eren leaned down and grabbed the captured titans in the net and ran off, following the soldiers as they pulled back. More tears slid down your cheeks, blurring your vision, and more steam floated from the blood on your face and clothes, clouding your vision even more.

You smiled despite the tears and the pain of your back and eye.

The suicidal bastard.

—

The cart jiggled and bounced as the horse carrying it ran forward, following the rest of the soldiers who made it back, making you move at every shake. God, were you tired. You stared down at Eren's sleeping form. Levi had pulled him out of his titan form when they made it out of the forest. He came out unconscious, probably due to the battle he had and how much he overworked himself in his titan form.

You sat beside him in the cart, your cloak on his body. A bandage wrapped around your head, covering your right eye. The red marks from his shifting were still on his skin, fading. He saved you.

The thought still couldn't register in your mind. He saved you. You could barely remember a thing about what had happened an hour ago; it all happened so fast. All you know is that you could have died, twice, and he saved you both times. You pressed a palm to your forehead, inhaling loudly.

You were so pathetic. You had given up in that moment when you were grabbed. How could you have thought no one would care if you died? Of course people cared. You were mad at yourself, so mad.

You looked away from Eren, eyes downcast. Sighing, you removed your hand from your forehead and fixed the bandage around your head. Your right we was really damaged. It's throbbing ceased into something duller, but the pain in your back overpowered it, making it seem like nothing. Hanji had wrapped the bandage around your head, saying that you might need to get glasses or something. Whatever.

Out of the corner of your eye, Eren stirred, raising a hand to his eyes. You turned to him, leaning over his face. "Eren?" you asked, before he abruptly sat up, foreheads colliding. You hissed, falling back on your butt, clutching your head. Eren groaned, rubbing his and sitting up, legs crossed.

"Don't lean over me like that!"

"Don't sit up like that, stupid!"

He looked around, eyes taking in the open plains and the walls that loomed ahead. He looked at you, and something clicked in his mind. You didn't notice, you were too busy fixing your bandage.

"Ow, ow, ow…"

Suddenly you fell back, arms wrapping around your body. You gasped at the sudden action.

"_! You're okay!"

"You could say that," you wheezed, returning Eren's hug. He pulled back, eyes flicking up to the bandage on your head and the bruises on your face.

You gave him a small smile.

"So…what happened?" he asked, nodding at the bandage.

"You know how titan blood is really hot, like their skin and stuff? Yeah…." You chuckled, tugging at your sleeve. "Hanji says I might need glasses or something like that."

"Oh…Did we catch a titan?"

You nodded, answering, "Two. Hanji's going to have a fucking field day."

"The gates are opening!" cried Erwin.

You stood, gazing at the gates as they opened. The cart rolled inside, and you sat back down. Civilians lined up on the streets, muttering to each other.

"Weren't there more this morning?"

"This is what happens when you go outside the walls."

"What a fucking waste of our taxes…"

"Just fattening them up for the titans…"

Eren tensed up beside you, anger in his eyes. You knew he had a deep respect for the Survey Corps, and if someone insulted them, it was like his own pride was being hurt, so he would always defend it. You placed a hand on his shoulder, glaring at him. He understood, and with much reluctance, looked away, darkness in his eyes.

"Erwin! Is this how you plan on helping humanity?"

"Do you have feelings?"

"Is this what you call 'for the betterment of mankind'?"

Erwin walked on, gripping the reins of his horse. He was always prepared to come back to the walls and get scorned by the civilians. He kept a straight face as their shouts grew louder; he couldn't let them see him break down, not here, certainly not here.

You stared ahead of the road as the carts moved along, heading back to HQ.

—

"Remove the bandages, please."

You did as the doctor said, reaching up to untie them and then unwrap them from your head.

You sat in the infirmary, Eren, Armin, and Mikasa watching as the doctor, Dr. Stone, examined you. He had already looked at the other three. Stone angled his head and peered at your eye, squinting. You held your breath, staring at his face change into many expressions.

"Your eye is very damaged. You'll need goggles to see if your going on another expedition; you won't be able to see that well with an injured eye."

You already couldn't see well. You read in a book that whatever happens to one eye, it affects the other. So if you had a damaged eye, seeing things clearly would be a challenge. You vision was a mix of two eyes. Misery liked company.

"I'll add some drops to prevent it from getting infected. Other than that your fine, just some minor bruising-"

Minor was an understatement. Your back was black and blue, dammit.

"-and I'll have you get fitted with some goggles. I'll be right back."

The four of you watched as Stone left. There were a few moments of silence before Eren blurt out, angry, "What the hell, _?!"

You looked up, taken aback. "Wha-"

"You gave up back there! I saw it in your eyes."

You stayed silent, not knowing how to respond.

"You made a promise,_! How could you give up like that! Are you an idiot?"

"Eren," Mikasa warned.

You could see he was really furious at you for doing that. It reminded you of how he would encourage his friends, 'Never stop fighting!', 'If you don't fight, you can't win', 'Don't give up!'. Seeing him seething with anger, all of it directed at you, made you mad, too.

You hopped off the doctors table and argued back, "What was that back there, Eren?! You were ordered not to transform unless you were in danger!" Now you were just being stupid; why argue back? There was no use for it.

Eren lifted his chin as you leaned forward, still yelling at him. What were you doing? "Something could have malfunctioned! And you put everyone's lives in danger just trying to save me. I'm just one life, Eren. Hundreds of people die to the titans-"

"Shut up! Aren't we soldiers? We're supposed to save people!" Tears were forming at the corners of your eyes now.

"You endangered everyone out there, Eren! What were you thinking?" you shouted over him, and he looked away, eyes downcast. After a moment of silence he looked back up, eyes full of tears waiting to be spilled.

"I just…wanted to get to you as fast as I could…," he said, staring up at you. The realization hit you and you stepped back. He was yelling at you like an adult did to a child when they ran head first into trouble. He wasn't angry at you, he was just worried…So worried. You immediately felt guilty for yelling at him, so you leaned against the doctor's table, rubbing your eyes. The tears stung like a bitch on your crippled eye.

You realized that in your little argument Mikasa and Armin left, most likely to give you two air. You glanced back at Eren, who hung his head low with his eyes trained at the floorboards.

The door opened and you both straightened. Dr. Stone walked in, holding a bottle and a few pairs of goggles in his hands. "I brought some pairs that you could try on and the drops. Make sure to put two drops in that eye twice a day until I say so."

He didn't notice that you and Eren had literally just screamed at each other a few seconds ago, or that both of you were wiping away the tears in your eyes. Eren stayed silent as you applied the drops and began to try on goggles. After the fourth try, you found one that fixed your vision the most and took it with the bottle of drops, walking out of the infirmary with Eren. He held his hands in his pockets, walking slowly. You kept your eyes trained on your boots as they moved.

You realized you no longer heard Eren's footsteps beside yours, and you stopped, turning to look back. He stared at the wall beside him, obviously avoiding your gaze.

"I bet you look good with goggles…," he muttered, though more to himself than to you. You felt the color rush to your cheeks and you turned your body to face him.

"Eren…," you began, "I'm sorry that I yelled at you. I was acting childish."

"No, I'm sorry. I started it. I just…was really worried that I'd loose a friend,_. Ya know?"

You nodded, watching him turn his head to look at you now. His dark hair fell in his eyes, and you resists the urge to walk over and brush it aside…you mentally punched yourself in the boob.

"I was just really scared…," he said.

You puffed. "Not as scared as me. Come on, I've been grabbed by a titan like what, three times already?" You shook your head, smiling and looking don at your feet. "I was almost eaten, too."

In front of you Eren scoffed, taking a step toward you. "What, so you're the only one who faced 'the jaws of death'? I think you've forgotten, but I was fucking eaten by a titan, and my arm and leg was bitten off."

You took a step toward him, smirking. Was this a contest to see how many limbs you ripped off? "Yeah, but you're a titan, Eren. You can regenerate. I can't, so I win."

"But I still feel pain." Another step.

"Well, that doesn't mean I can't either." Another.

"True that."

"Uh-huh."

You looked up at him. You were both less than a step away from each other. He looked down at you.

"Hey, Eren."

"Mm?"

"You're such a suicidal bastard," you said, leaning toward and wrapping your arms around him, pulling him into a hug. It took him a second to get over the initial shock before he hugged you back, pulling you closer. You buried your head in his neck, feeling his hands tangle in your (h/c) hair. He was warm…so warm. You didn't want to pull apart from him.

After a few moments, Eren cleared his throat, his arms no longer wrapped around you. You still hung onto him, even if he took a step back.

"Uhh…_?"

No answer. He noticed your shoulders shaking.

"Are you okay?" he asked, getting a little worried.

You pulled your head away from his neck and looked up at him, smiling, tears falling down your cheeks. He smiled back, though there was concern in his turquoise eyes. You pulled apart from him, a blush coloring your cheeks. You continued walking, Eren beside you, hands in pockets. You wiped your tears.

"Try them on," he blurted, breaking the silence.

"Hah?"

"The goggles. I want to see how you look."

You eyed him. "Okay…" You took them out of your pocket and examined the elastic that was tied to both ends of the frames. "…'I bet you look good in them…'" you muttered, repeating Eren's words and bringing the goggles up to your face. He laughed nervously, making you giggle.

"Did I say that?"

"Yup." You fit the goggle straps around your head and fixed the frames on your nose. Everything looked so much more clearer; no more blurriness. "Wow."

Eren stared at you intently.

"What?"

"Nothing. You just look like Hanji."

"Isn't that good?"

He shrugged. You looked over your shoulder behind you and then turned back to Eren. "I'm going to my room. Today's been a long day and I need some time time alone…," you explained.

He nodded in understanding, waving goodbye. "See ya."

You headed to your room and opened the door, stepping inside and closing it behind you. You tore of your jacket and boots, eyes lingering over the faint blood and grass stains. You sat at the edge of your bed, unbuckling the straps of your harnesses until it was all off. You laid back down on your bed, staring at the white ceiling. You closed your eyes, images flashing through your mind. Images of earlier today.

"No more!" you whispered loudly to the empty room, covering your eyes with an arm. That was when you allowed yourself to cry for real.

_**Dammit! *Table flip* *table sweep***_

_**I cannot express how much I hate this chapter. No matter how many times I wrote this I couldn't get it right. ARFGJHUJLHGYUI**_

_**Please halp. Im pretty sure I got a hell of lot of things wrong. And about the titan blood, doesn't that ever happen?**_


	6. Chapter 6

**More Than a Whole Brigade**

**Reader x Eren Jaeger Part 6 **

You woke up the next morning to loud knocks on your door. You opened your eyes, the fast and excited knocks filling the silent room. You sat up, fixing your hair and wiping your eyes (you guessed you were crying in your sleep) and stumbling to the door, the goggles around your neck bouncing against your chest. You unlocked the door, the knocks ceasing, and opened it, rubbing your eyes.

"_!" exclaimed the tall squad leader before you, practically bouncing on the balls of her feet.

"Hello, Hanji," you said, not realizing you were being informal. She took no mind to it and grinned down at your groggy form.

"Get fixed up! Meet me in the back courtyard, where the captured titans are. I'll explain later, bye!"

"Wai-" you started, but she was already running down the hall. You sighed, letting your outstretched hand drop on your side with a thud and stepped back into your room. You shut the door behind you and fixed up your bed and plucked out your clothes. You quickly showered, dropping the damn bottle of soap a number of times because you were still not fully awake.

And you thought gunshots were loud.

Finally you were running down the hall, your goggles bouncing off of your chest and your damp hair falling in clumps behind you. You turned the corner, squinting ahead to look better. _Damn eyesight, _you thought. You suddenly remembered you had goggles on you, so you placed them on your face, vision becoming clearer, and stepped out the double doors that lead to the courtyard.

The sun hit you in the face like the titan blood that had burned your eye; hot and not very appreciated. You looked around, spotting the mass of soldiers standing a distance away from the two titans that lay, pinned to the ground. A figure stood closer to one of them, Hanji you figured, and beside her a less boisterous, smaller figure. You walked to them, putting some distance between you and the titans, who watched your every move with heavy breaths. You eyed them and stood beside Hanji, beside her, Armin. You smiled at him.

"Good morning,_," he said politely.

"Hey, Ar-"

"A good morning indeed!" yelled Hanji, grinning. Her goggles shone in the sunlight, the lenses white from the light and it gave her an erie look. Armin gave you a sympathetic smile. Then it dawned on you, and your smile faded away. You face palmed, groaning.

"Aw, don't be so glum that you were the two cadets I chose! This will be fun!" Hanji giggled. "You can perform experiments and gain knowledge."

"Yes, but why me?" you asked her.

"You and Armin and perfect for this job. You can be my assistants!"

You sighed, stepping back to stand next to Armin. "This will certainly be interesting," you muttered to him. He laughed lightly.

"Yes, yes it will."

For ten minutes, you and Armin stood back as Hanji began the naming ceromony. She began to tell the tale of the human cannibals that feasted on travelers for 50 years. At the point when she was describing the different recipes they used, you heard a number of people behind you retch and some even threw up. You and Armin found the story intriguing in a morbid way. You sat down as Hanji continued her story, cross legged.

Then she pointed at the four meter titan with blond hair and announced, "Your name is Sawny." She pointed at the six meter with brown hair. "Your name is Bean." She laid a hand on his finger, smiling.

"Nice to meet you."

And because why not, you shouted from your spot on the ground a few meters away, "A pleasure to meet you, Sawny and Bean!"

Armin's jumped, startled by your sudden shout. Hanji turned around and gave you a goofy grin. But behind her Bean opened his mouth, leaning forward.

"Squad leader!" screeched Moblit, stretching a hand to her. Hanji jumped back, giggling, just as Bean snapped his mouth shut. She wagged her finger in the air, clicking her tongue. "Bean, you should learn not to do that. We're friends now!"

Bean regarded her with large eyes.

You and Armin glanced at each other, concern showing in your faces. You were both equally surprised that she was acting completely normal after, oh you know nothing too serious, she almost died. Calling Hanji a little odd was an understatement.

She was _mad._

You smiled and chuckled nervously as Hanji dusted herself off and turned back to her assistants. She motioned for you both to come. Armin walked ahead as you got up, stumbling, and ran after him.

_Swan, _you thought. _Graceful as a swan in its fucking homeland…I'm a fucking swan. Don't let the gators get you. Embrace your inner swan._

You snorted at your joke in your head and sweat dropped, standing behind the taller boy in front of you, not wanting to be put in the same situation as Hanji. Well, again. Armin seemed to have the same idea, for he grabbed your arm and pulled you in front of him. You swooped between the little opening by his arm and side and went behind him again. You both continued this until Hanji turned to the look at the two of you, your head poking out between Armin's arm and side and his arms around you. You both paused then sprung apart, eyeing the titans.

"Aw look at you. You guys are so excited to meet Sawny and Bean you're letting the other go first! How kind," she grinned at you and Armin.

"Say hello to Sawny and Bean!"

You swallowed. "I already did."

"That was from far away. Now come, shake their hands!"

Moblit spoke up, "Squad leader, I don't think that's the best idea…"

"Nonsense!" she retorted.

You stepped behind Armin again as he raised his hand awkwardly, waving at the titans before him. You stared at the titans as he spoke, "Uh…hi."

There was a pause before he nudged you. You stared at the titan's faces; those huge brown eyes following your every move, those open mouths with hot and putrid breath, those small round teeth waiting to sink into flesh…You shuddered before quickly shouting, "Hello!"

Someone slapped your back really hard and you stumbled forward, taking Armin with you. "That's the spirit," Hanji praised behind you.

"Shitshitshitshit," you muttered, stiffly walking away from the titans, your hands gripping the sides of your white pants.

You spent the rest of the morning with Hanji and Armin, learning about procedures and the experiments. After being snapped at and almost loosing your head, you made your way to the cafeteria with Armin, who was just as tired as you were.

"I think," you said,"that us helping Hanji won't be all that bad, ya know?"

Armin nodded in agreement. "It could actually be kinda fun."

"We might even become like her."

You both didn't say anything, letting the thought of becoming someone like Hanji sink in. It was very unpleasant, but perhaps viewing things from her perspective would be a nice change. You stretched, opening the door to the cafeteria for Armin to go through.

"Thanks," he said.

"Yeah, no problem."

You didn't bother to look around at your surroundings as you entered. You didn't have breakfast and was extremely hungry. Plus you didn't have much time to eat though; you had to return to the courtyard for the first round of experiments. You went and picked up your food, which was stew, and sat down across from Armin at the table of his choosing.

What a bad idea.

Before you could even pick up your spoon, both of the seats beside you were filled in. You glanced to your sides, going back to your stoic and sour self as you looked at Connie and Reiner's faces.

"Hello, boys," you said, deadpan and leaning down to take a sip of the stew and pushing up the goggles on your nose.

"_, hey!" Connie said beside you. Reiner grunted.

"I didn't know you wore glasses," said the bald boy beside you.

"I do now," you replied, making the annoyed tone in your voice obvious.

Armin looked at you sympathetic, not really knowing what to do. You ate in silence as the two boys beside you watched, waiting for something to happen.

"Did you switch boyfriends or something? I thought you usually eat with Eren," Reiner said, breaking the silence. Before he could even finish his sentence, you were already spitting the stew in your mouth back into the bowl. You glowered at Reiner, water dripping down your chin and you wiped it with the back of your sleeve, gaze unwavering, intimidating.

"First of all, _fuck _you and your sexual fantasies-" Renier burst out laughing at that, Connie snickering beside you. You glared and went on, "-and second of all, why the _fuck _would you say something like that while I'm eating?"

"Well it's true, right?" Connie said.

"No," you answered.

"What, so he didn't turn into a titan for you?" Reiner pressed. You grit your teeth. Why were they being like this? Did they think everything was a joke?

"Do you think that that was fun? Do you like turning life threatening moments into something they're not?" you said, staring down at your bowl. In front of you Armin stared, blue gaze boring into you as you spoke.

You nearly expected Connie to make some asswipe comment, but he stayed silent. You looked up at the clock and muttered, "Oh shit." You picked up your tray, telling Armin, "We gotta go back or we'll be late."

At the sound of that you both rushed to dump your trays. Reiner asked as you passed by the table, "Late for what?"

"Experimenting on the titans," Armin explained. "We're assistants."

You and Armin hurried out the door and made your way to the courtyard.

"We barely even had any time to eat," you complained.

Armin shrugged. "Better than no time."

"Hey Armin," you began.

"What is it?" he turned to look at you.

"Does Eren always look like that in his titan form?"

He paused before running a hand through his blond chin length hair. "Yeah. I mean, there was this one time he saved us from being blasted by a canon. He wasn't fully transformed, just enough to cover us in the ribs of it."

He glanced at you sideways. "Are you asking me this because he turned into one to save you? I hope you guys made up after that little argument."

You sighed. "Yeah we made up. And wow, I'm flattered. He bit his hand for me? How kind; I'm special."

"You overdid the sarcasm."

"There was a reason for that."

"Which was?"

"…I guess I'm just embarrassed that he had to save me and shit," you admitted, rubbing the back of your neck.

Armin looked at you closely, eyes squinting. "It's not that," he said.

"Hah?"

"You like him, that's all," he said bluntly.

You stopped in your tracks and gasped dramatically. "Oh Armin, you and your perceptiveness! How long did I think I could keep this up? Oh yes, I'm hot for him! Swooning by his feet!" You sighed, pressing a hand to your forehead. This was just your way to cope with his words.

He laughed beside you at your actions. You straightened and Armin, still laughing lightly, said, "I'm being serious."

You turned to him and sighed. "Great, even my own friends are shipping us! Why does this always happen when my best friend turns out to be a guy!" You clutched your head in frustration.

Armin smiled warmly at you. "Okay, okay. Forget I said that. Come on, we better hurry."

You followed him as you both continued down the long hall. "I can't believe we were chosen for this."

"It makes perfectly sense, though. We both are pretty smart."

"Yeah, but what if I mess up? It was my fault that I messed up my own plan on the expedition…"

"Your plan was great. You know, only a few people died, and even less were injured. I don't know what fantasy you're living, but I'm sure thy you won't mess up. Mistakes happen anyway."

"But still, people died under my plan…"

Armin looked at you intently. "You can't change anything if you can't throw anything away. Put aside your humanity to overcome a monster, that's what I think. The most important people we've seen are capable of doing that."

You looked away, confidence in yourself rising at his words. "Thanks, Armin."

"Your welcome."

You opened the door at the end of the hall that lead to the courtyard and stepped outside. Hanji was waiting for you. "Alright guys! Our first experiment is communication."

She had you talk to Bean while Armin spoke with Sawny. It was awkward just standing there, not knowing what to talk to him about. You sat cross legged on the ground, clipboard in your lap. "Um, hello, Bean. Nice weather we're having. Uh, if you don't mind, is it alright if you could start talking now? Just a little?"

No response. Just a blink.

"Okay. Well, I guess I could tell you about my morning. Well, I'm stuck with you. Reiner and Connie are being little shits like always. I'm still hungry. I'm pretty tired; didn't sleep well last night. Yeah, because of your friends."

Bean blinked again.

"Care to tell me why you eat people?"

Nothing.

Sighing, you scribbled down notes on the paper sitting in your lap. _Subject does not appear to be trying to communicate in any way. Subject does not respond to questions, nor my comments._

You raised your hand and called to Hanji, "Bean's not talking."

She walked over to you. "What a shame. I wish we could find a titan like that one from the expedition a long time ago…"

You looked up at her, confused. "What titan?" Hanji waved it off dismissively. "It's confidential." She walked away to check on Armin, leaving you siting there, perplexed.

Was there a titan that had spoken before? What expedition? When did this happen? What happened? Was that why you had to perform the Communication test?

Suddenly a shadow loomed over you and you looked up to see Bean's teeth above you. You scrambled away before the titan could snap at your head._"Fucking butt!" _you screeched, startled. Bean shrunk back to its original position. It seemed like it had seized that moment of obliviousness you had and tried to bite you. You fixed your goggles. These things were smarter than you thought. You stood and straightened.

_Respect your enemies. Not doing so will be the death of you,_._

"_! Are you alight?" asked Armin.

"I'm fine. Just startled."

You walked over to him. "So what does Hanji want us to do next?"

"Well, she said that she had a special job for us as assistants."

"What's that?"

Five minutes later you were standing in Hanji's cluttered office, ready to organize the shit out of it.

You cracked your knuckles. "Lets organize this room so hard, it'll be organizing itself."

Armin scratched his cheek. "I don't think that's possible…"

You waved a hand. "I'll start on that side of the room, you do the other."

"Roger that."

You surveyed your side of the room as you heard pale rustling and objects moving on Armin's side. The shelves were overflowing with books and papers. The desk drawers were open and objects were sticking, like papers and folders. You sighed; you thought you were supposed to help with experiments. You turned and asked Armin, who replied with, "She apparently lost a file that was important to the experiments. Something like that."

You turned back to organizing with a huff, sitting on the floor and beginning at the bottom shelves. "So," you began, "how many times has Eren turned into a titan?"

There was a pause, probably from memoirs of the time, before Armin answered without turning around, "I think it was four times already."

"Will Hanji perform experiments on him?"

"Yes."

"But-"

"They're not those kinds of experiments."

You nodded, fixing the pile of papers on your lap. "Is it always the same titan he turns into to?"

"The fifteen meter class? Yeah, but there was a time he didn't fully transform, just enough to save us from the canon."

You shuffled the papers in your lap, reaching for more. There was silence before Armin asked, "You really are good friends with Eren, huh?"

"Eh, we fight, sometimes, but yeah. I guess," you answered, making another pile of papers. "But I'll never be the kind of friend like you and Mikasa are to him."

"That's bull. He already thinks like that."

You glanced over your shoulder. "What?" Armin didn't turn around, only continued with his organizing.

"He told me, one night. The night before the expedition. He said, 'I care about her as a friend as much as I do about you, Armin.' He really admires you, and I'm sure you do the same, as well.

"He really cares about you, _. And he only yelled at you like that because he was worried he was going to loose you. You kinda hurt him pretty bad when you yelled at him. Even after you two made up, he wouldn't get up in the morning the next day."

You made him…feel bad? He made you feel bad, too. Was this how intwined your friendship was with him? You turns back and looked at your hands. "He made me feel like that, too…," you whispered, not loud enough for the blond to hear.

You chuckled. "So I guess we really are best buds."

"Yup. And don't forget that me and Mikasa are your buds, too."

"Like I would."

There was silence as you both continued. You finished organizing the shelves after a while and moved on to the desk. "So where's Eren anyway?" you asked.

"Oh. Heichou's yelling at him, I think, for turning into a titan. If he's not getting chewed out, then I don't know where he would be."

So he was no where to be found.

"Armin," you began, "are we going to help Hanji experiment on Eren?"

There was silence as the blond boy thought. There was a rustle of paper before he replied, "I don't know. Maybe."

"Well, fuck. I don't want to experiment on my best friend."

"It will help humanity."

"Ehh…I don't know, just feels weird."

"How's your sparring,_?" Armin asked suddenly, totally off topic.

"Huh?"

"I heard from Eren that you aren't too good at fighting. I'd help you, but I'm terrible. Mikasa, I find, is too rough." Armin glanced behind his shoulder to meet your eyes. "Why not ask Eren to help you?"

You stared at him for a moment. "Um. Why should I?"

"Learning the moves is important."

You stayed silent, wondering. What was the big deal with sparring? It's not like its going to help you kill titans. But you could get better and actually whoop Jean's ass. You heard Armin let out a muffled snort. You turned back to him and saw he was smiling. Wait a second…

_"You're trying to get me and him together aren't you?!"_ you exclaimed, blushing.

Armin turned around, one hand covering his mouth as he tried not to laugh, the other held up. "N-no! I'm not trying to do anything!"

"Then why are you laughing?!"

No reply. He just giggled. You pulled your head back and groaned. "What is with all this pairing up?!" You pointed at him. "Why are you worried about me when you should be making your move on Annie?"

_"Whaa!?"_ he cried, eyes wide and cheeks flushed.

"I know about your little crush on Annie. You're a perfect pair. Go tell her how you feel!"

"I-I can't do that!"

"And why not?"

"Because she'll break my b-bones!"

"Love hurts buddy!"

"But what if she doesn't like me?"

"Well, then you'll at least have some closure for telling her your feelings. Armin, for someone as smart as you, I find it pretty fucking funny that can't understand the concept of love."

"What do you know about love?" he asked, silencing you. You opened your mouth and closed it again.

"Aha! That's what I thought!" he said, laughing nervously. "I guess you really aren't in love with Eren."

You snapped at him, "Of course I'm not!"

"So what do I do about Annie?"

"Do what I told you, Armin. I'm sure it'll work better than making some half-assed plan with a bunch of variables."

"H-how did you know I was going to do that?"

You pressed a palm to your forehead. "God, Armin, you are just so predictable. Look, we nerds gotta stick together. In case you haven't realized, if I was in the same situation as you, I would make a plan with a whole bunch of shitty steps in it. What to say when he says that, or what to do when he does this-"

"Are you talking about Eren?"

"I'm talking about some unidentified male! The point I'm trying to make is that your smart instincts take over because you don't know what the hell your brain is doing to you. Hell, I'd freak out if he was around me-"

"Are you still talking about Eren?"

"What is it with you and my relationship with Eren?!" you cried, incredulous. "Look, just go ahead and talk to her!"

"B-but-"

"No buts! Do what I say! I'm your nerdy friend and we got to stick together, help each other out. Now, if I help you, will you help me in the future?" you asked, staring at him.

Armin made a face and agreed, "Okay."

You stood and looked on your side of the room. "Are we almost done here?"

He stood, looking at his side. "Yeah, I guess. Lets go get Han-"

The door burst open, making you and Armin jump. Hanji stood in the doorway, beaming. "Great job guys! Now let me see if I can find it now…" She walked over and started pawing through the organized piles of paper.

After a moment she announced, "Found it!" and scurried out the door, file in hand.

You stared at the mess Hanji made, papers on the floor and books out of place. You very calmly grabbed an open book beside you and brought it up to your face.

"Uh, what are you-" Armin started but you interrupted him with a raised finger.

You screamed into the book, muffling the shrill sound. After a moment you set the book down and groaned. "Back to organizing," you said, head hanging and arms swaying by your sides.

Armin sighed, and you both began to pick up papers from the floor.

_**Okey doke here it is. I don't know what to say, um…**_

_**Armin time.**_

_**I don't own anything Eren owns you eue**_


	7. Chapter 7

**More Than a Whole Brigade**

**Reader x Eren Jaeger Part Seven**

You sneezed loudly into your arm, jerking forward violently. You sneezed again, then again.

"Bless you," said a familiar voice behind you.

You couldn't turn around to see who it was because you fucking sneezed again, eyes wide.

"Get that shit under control. I'm not saying bless you after the fifth time."

Finally you turned around and saw Eren leaning against the tree you were propped up on, eyes on the morning sky and hands shoved in his pockets. You had come out into the garden after breakfast to relax for a bit. You didn't sleep well at all, which wasn't a surprise. You were always having nightmares, some much worse than others.

You sniffed, wiping your nose. "Good morning to you too, Eren."

He chuckled at your tone, eyes still trained on the sky above him. You leaned back against the blossom tree, the rough bark digging into your shirt. You looked to where your jacket was, lying on the ground beside you.

"Are you sick?" he asked, glancing a little to you.

You shrugged. "I dunno."

"I heard from Armin that you two are the lucky ones to be chosen for experiments."

"Yeah. So fucking lucky. Who wouldn't want to be around the beasts that terrorize our cities and eat innocent humans?"

"Your sarcasm is very much appreciated, thank you."

"Not as much yours, Jaeger."

He shook his head, smiling. "You sound like my mom when I do something wrong."

You rolled your eyes. "And you sound like fucking Mikasa, worrying all about me."

He huffed curtly. There was silence as you stared up into the tree's branches. There long, thin, and dark. The leaves of the tree were mostly on the ground, some still precariously hanging, signaling the change of seasons.

"Eren, if you help me with sparring, I could help you with something else," you said suddenly, making the boy jump a little and turn to you.

"Why me? Why not ask Mikasa?" he asked right away, something flashing in his eyes. Panic? Fear?

You shook it off. "Mikasa is too rough and she's too much of an expert. I only need to practice, not learn the moves all over again."

Eren was silent for a moment. "Fine," he said finally and held out his hand.

You shook his hand, sealing the deal. "So what is it that I can help you with?" you asked, wanting to know your part of the deal.

The dark haired boy pondered over this for a moment. The he shrugged. "I dunno. If I think of something I'll tell you."

"So when do I start?" you stood up, brushing the tree's leaves from your clothes.

"Now," he said suddenly and mischievously, pulling back his leg and raising his fists to his face. You fell on your back with a yelp, Eren's leg connecting with yours, hot pain shooting up your leg.

"What the fuck!?" you screamed, scrambling away a little.

He laughed, not breaking his stance. You growled at him, quickly getting up. "Where did you learn that?" you asked.

"Annie," he said simply.

Then you remembered how as trainees, he would usually practice with the girl. You weren't that much of a friend to Jaeger then, just someone who spoke with him often. You wondered how long it took him to master that stance. He sure was a stubborn bastard.

You frowned, watching him turn his body so his side was slightly angled to you. You analyzed every detail; how his feet were planted in the ground, how one foot had its toes dug into the dirt of the ground, his fists that shielded his face that left his mid section wide open. You relaxed, letting your arms drop. "Can't we do this somewhere else?"

"Maybe." You took a step closer to him cautiously, shoulders still tense.

"That's not an answer, Eren."

He let his arms fall and let his foot drop. "Fine fine, lets practice somewhere el-"

You lunged forward, copying his stance, feet suddenly digging into the dirt and taking their position, fists held in front of your face, and you pulled back your foot, putting in all your strength in your kick.

_Yes, I'm going to make him fall on his ass-_

You foot connected with his leg, hooking around it. You but your lip, pain shooting up your leg. Eren had braced himself for your attack right away, and surprisingly, the boy had withstood your kick.

_Fuck._

He looked at you smugly as you clenched your teeth in a silent scream. "Holy _fucking_Christ that hurts! _AUGH!"_You stepped back, limping. Your whole foot throbbed, and every movement caused a wave of icy-hot pain to shoot up your leg.

_"FUCK!"_ you shouted.

Eren started laughing, clutching his stomach. You crossed your arms, putting most of your weight on your uninjured foot. He wheezed, laughing. You sighed, waiting for him to finish.

"It's…not that…easy," he huffed, straightening. He finally calmed down enough to talk. "You'll get used to it, _."

"How the _fuck_do you that?" you cried in frustration, sitting down, rubbing your leg.

He looked down at you. "Practice. The pain lessens when you get used to it."

"Easy for you to say," you grumbled. You felt his hand on your head and your looked up, his palm covering your eyesight. He ruffled your hair and your swatted his hand away, annoyed that he messed up your hairstyle.

You glared at him and he laughed lightly, watching as you fixed your hair. "Jaeger, you are such a fucking bastard."

"Mm-hmm."

You sighed, shaking your head. "Can we just go practice somewhere else? Somewhere with, oh I don't know, a few pillows?"

"Eh. I change my mind," Eren said. "If I'm going to help you get better, you should be expecting the pain that will come. When there's a real fight, there won't be time to fucking place pillows everywhere. So no, we're staying here."

"Oh, come on-"

He shot you a look and you rolled your eyes, shutting up. He stepped back a little and got in position. "Come on," was all he said.

You stood up, stepping back. You looked at his position, something simple, one foot in front of the other, the foot in the back in a 90 degree angle. You blinked. You really were a nerd. His fists were held by his sternum, ready to pull back and thrust forward.

You narrowed your eyes, angling your body so your side with slightly to him. One arm hung loosely by your side, the other held by your face. You tensed your legs and rushed forward, twisting your feet in the dirt. Using your hand that hung by your side, you pulled back and aimed a punch at Eren's exposed stomach. He blocked it, pushing you back while doing so. You stumbled back in time as his foot collided with yours, barely grazing it. He rushed forward again, hooking his arm around yours, and he was suddenly behind you, taking your other arm and pulling it behind your back.

You stood still, eyes wide a little uncomfortable. "What just happened?" you asked shakily.

"I beat you, that's what," Eren answered behind you, his voice holding a tinge of triumph in it.

You blushed a little at his body was pressed to yours, and you wiggled a little, trying to get out of his grip, but it tightened. You growled, "Eren, let go!"

He chuckled nervously, something between embarrassment and uncertainty, and his grip faltered. You could feel his breath on your neck, hot and moist. You swallowed as you felt him moving closer to you, and something brushed your neck, and your eyes widened, mind racing.

_Holy shit holy shit holy shit-_

And suddenly he let you go, arm no longer hooked around yours and hand holding your other arm behind your back. You whipped around, face pink and saw Eren get into position, eyes on you like nothing just happened.

"Again," he said, eyes brows furrowed.

You blushed even harder, eyes wide and face full of confusion. What the _fuck?!_What the fuck did he just do?! Were those his _lips?_Holy fuck!

You bit your lip and got into position, still utterly confused and extremely surprised. You could see the same emotion in his wide turquoise eyes, darting around.

You lunged forward reluctantly, low to the ground, fist pulled back. Eren surged forward, arms blocking your blow. You pulled back your other fist, only to be block once again. You threw punch after punch, growing more frustrated as he blocked each one. He took a hold of your fists and pushed you back with his strength, but you pushed back, now grappling with him. Both of you were trying to overcome the other, and an idea popping in your mind. Eren, as you expected, tried to overpower you. In that burst of strength he had, you suddenly let go and stepped to the side, watching a wide eyed and surprised Eren fall to the ground.

"Ow! What the fuck was that?" he growled, sitting up and wiping the dirt off of his face.

"Nothing. I was just being smart."

Eren stood back up, brushing himself off. "Again," he said. And once again you ran at him.

"Again."

"Again."

"You're not using all of your strength in your punches."

"Try using your elbows and arms more; your punches will get you no where."

"Stay focused, _."

"Again."

—

You were fucking black and blue now. You spent most of the day practicing with Eren, only taking breaks to use the bathroom or getting a drink. When you decided to stop for the day, you immediately took a well deserved shower and flopped into your bed, taking a long power nap.

Now you lay in bed, stomach growling on and off, body aching. It was dinner time, but you were too tired to even stand (it'll hurt anyway). You got up anyway, not wanting to starve in your room and have someone find you dead.

You trudged to the cafeteria, still groggy from the nap. You blinked, eyes blurry, and you realized you didn't have your goggles on. You must've left them in your room. You went ahead and took your tray of dinner, which consisted of a small loaf of bread, water, and vegetable soup, and looked around the room, spotting Armin's blond head. You shuffled your way there, plopping your tray on the table and sitting down with a huff.

Around you sat your comrades scattered among the tables. Not many people were at dinner today, you realized. Some tables were even empty. Armin turned to look at you and his eyes widened.

"_! You look horrible," Armin stated, watching as you glanced at him sideways.

"Charming," you said simply and dug into your food, not realizing you were this hungry until you actually shoved some of it into your mouth.

"Seriously, what happened?" Armin asked, reaching for his glass of water.

"Eren happened."

"What?"

"I took your advice," you said between bites. "I am now under the wing of Young Sparring Master Suicidal Bastard."

Armin chuckled a little at the title you gave Eren. "No wonder he looked tired and so worn out. Did you practice all day?"

You nodded, taking a big gulp of water.

"How was it?"

Suddenly you remembered that one part of the sparring practice, when he had come up behind you and-

You choked on your water, spitting some of it back into the cup and some of it on the table. Thank God no one sat in front of you or else they would have gotten a face full of water. You coughed, Armin patting your back. "_! Are you okay? What's the matter?"

You waved a hand, coughing again. You cleared your throat and answered quickly, "Nothing, its nothing. It was fine."

Armin eyed you, knowing you were hiding something. "Did some happen?"

"Nope," you said as calmly as you could.

He shot you another look before turning back to his meal, deciding to let the subject drop. You ripped a large chunk of the loaf of bread and broke out another smaller piece, putting it into your mouth. "Where is Eren anyway? I expected to see him at dinner," you asked.

"He's in the dorm. Said he was tired"

"Could you tell him I can't spare with him tomorrow? Hanji gave me a note saying I had to help her with some shit tomorrow."

"Sure. How come you're only going?"

You stuffed the rest of your bread in your mouth before answering, "Said she didn't need both of us. I dunno."

Armin shrugged and sipped at his water, finishing it. "Well," he started, standing and taking his tray. "I'm done. See you tomorrow, _. Have a good night."

"You too," you replied politely and he was gone, leaving you alone at the table.

You sighed, picking up your spoon and digging it into the bowl. What happened earlier? Did he mean to do that? That was just fucked up. You felt like killing him or something. He couldn't die right? Thoughts of sneaking into his room and stabbing him for just making you feel like this entered your mind. No you couldn't do that to your best friend.

If he _was_ your best friend.

"Hey, _," called a voice, making you look up. Marco sat down in front of you, a look of concern on his face. "Are you alright? Your face is red."

"It is?" You reached up and touched your cheek, feeling how warm it was. You took a deep breath and willed yourself to calm down.

"You look really worried about something," the freckled boy remarked.

"I…," you figured it was okay to tell Marco a little; he wasn't like the other guys. They were total dicks. "I guess I'm just worried about something that happened today."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

You bit your lip, swishing your spoon around the bowls contents aimlessly. "It was just something that really surprised and confused me. I'm just not sure how to, um, feel."

Marco nodded. "Is this about Eren?"

You didn't say anything, just stared down at your soup, frowning and chewing on the inside of your cheek. Marco clicked his tongue. "You should take some time alone, think about it. How exactly do you feel anyway?"

You looked back up at him, happy he didn't press more on the last question. "Flustered. Really confused." You looked away, eyes brow furrowing. "Like I wanna punch something."

"You should cool off. Maybe talking to whoever was involved about it would help. You-"

"What's going on in this deck of the woods?" Jean asked, taking a seat beside Marco, startling the both o you. You rolled your eyes, sighing. Great.

"Nothing," Marco answered.

"Doesn't seem like it was "nothing"," Jean said, glancing at you.

"Fuck off," you growled, not in the mood.

"What's her problem?" the brown haired boy asked, tone harsh.

"She just had a rough day," the freckled boy replied, sighing. He gave you a sympathetic look, but your face remained stone.

"We all do. Nothing special in that."

You took a long gulp of your water, choosing not to respond. Jean regarded you for a moment before asking, "So what's gotten you into this mood?"

"Nothing important."

"Well, it certainly caused you to have a bad day."

You sighed rubbing your temple. "Yeah. It did."

Jean laid his face in his palm, glancing all over your face. You stared back at him, deadpan but somewhat intrigued by his sudden change of attitude. The way he was staring at you seemed like he wanted you to continue. You narrowed your eyes.

"What, you want me to tell you what happened? Forget it; you and your little cult will just make my problem with Eren worse and-" you stopped, stiff in your seat. Dammit.

Jean put his hand down and looked at you, eyes wide. Marco did the same, wearing the same surprised expression as Jean.

"So this is about Eren?" Jean asked.

You bit your lip, averting their gaze, blushing. Fuckfuckfuckfuck. You glanced at Jean and Marco for a moment, choosing not to say anything.

You stood up before they could ask any more questions, taking your tray. You walked away, muttering a short farewell and dumped your tray out hastily. You stormed out of the cafeteria, chest constricting and blushing like mad. You walked faster, not caring where you were going; you just wanted to get away, fast, and now you were jogging, throat closing up, running, sprinting, closing your eyes-

Suddenly you felt the cool night air on your face, calming you down. Where were you? You opened you eyes, slowly adjusting to the dark outside, the dim lanterns glowing behind you. You stood in the doorway that lead to the courtyard, hands on either side of the door, keeping it open. You took one of the lanterns hanging behind you and walked out into the courtyard. Which one were you at, the front of the back?

You could see figures standing guard by the perimeter of the stone walls around the courtyard, and you immediately recognized this as the one that held the titans. Your eyes landed on the dark looming shapes in the dark, lying in strange angles with nails holding the titan's limbs down. You walked closer to the titans and sat in front of them with an audible 'whumpf!'. You hugged your knees up to your chest, the lantern glowing in front of you, casting shadows on the titans' faces. You didn't have to worry about being caught; as Hanji's assistant, you were permitted to enter the area whenever you wanted to. Bonding time, she called. What a weird eccentric woman. People just thought of her that way because of her different perspective on titans.

You stared at Bean's face. His eyes were heavy lidded, and they blinked slowly, some talking about two or three seconds to reopen. This was normal. Most titans couldn't thrive that long at night. Sawny was less tired. His eyes were fully open but you could tell he was pretty tired. The titans breathed heavily through their mouths, moaning softly at times.

"Hi, guys," you said softly, a little embarrassed at first.

Bean blinked a greeting and Sawny breathed out more air.

"What's up?" you asked them.

_Oh, nothing. Just chillin'. Not like I got nails stuck in my body._

You pretended Sawny had said that. God you were stupid.

"I had a nice day. How about you?"

Sawny blinked slowly.

_I had a great day. Thanks for asking. Though from what I heard, you don't seem like you're having a "nice day."_

"Yeah, who am I kidding. My day's been really confusing. Mixed feelings and shit."

_That sucks, brah. Really does._

Bean blinked sympathetically in agreement.

"I'm just…feeling weird. And stuff. Can I ask you something?"

_Anything for you, _._

You smiled at Bean. Why are you smiling? Why the fuck are you doing this? What the hell is wrong with you?

"What should I do? Let it go or hold into it and dwell on it?"

_You make it sound like a hard decision, _._

_Yeah_, Bean agreed. Like life or death or somethin'.

_Who wants to spend hours a day dwelling on something they shouldn't? It isn't right,_ Sawny continued, and you nodded in understanding, though it was all in your head. _You just got to let it go and keep going. Stop stressing._

_Yeah,_ Bean added.

"You guys are funny," you said, smiling to yourself. You felt much better talking to something that can't reply back. You could make up whatever it answers. It was actually kind of fun for you.

You looked up into the sky, the stars overhead glittering. Hot balls of gas. Mostly of helium and hydrogen. Depending on size, a star can live for a very long time. Some stars shine brighter than others. Stars have different colors that indicate the range of different temperatures.

You looked back at the two titans in front of you, patiently waiting for you to talk. And you did. You spoke of the stars and the clouds and the outside world and your friends and memories, you spoke of family and plants and animals. Only when Bean's eyes closed and Sawny was nearing his limit, you stood, eager to sleep, and picked up the lantern, ready to hit the hay.

_**Dies. Oh gooooood.**_

_**I am dead friends. I don't know what to say I can't write these days things will get better I promise.**_

_**I don't own Attack on Titan.**_

_**Eren owns you eue**_


	8. Chapter 8

**More Than a Whole Brigade**

**Reader x Eren Jaeger Chapter 8**

You made your way down the hall, turning corners and slithering past people as they walked the opposite way. You shuffled down the hall quickly, boots never leaving the ground and you were suddenly afraid you might trip and fall, but there you went, still shuffling. You finally made it to the office door and knocked once before the door swung open quite roughly.

You gasped as you were pulled in against your will, the door closing behind you with a click. You looked up and were confronted with shining lenses and a cheeky grin.

"Ah, so nice of you to come!" Hanji purred.

"You told me to," you said back, looking around the room. What a mess. And you had organized it a few days ago. Just proves how quick the scientist was to make a mess of things.

"I did?" She stuck out her lower lip in thought but then flashed you a smile. "I did! Okay, come on. Follow me!"

You scurried behind her as she led you to a door you hadn't noticed before. No wonder; it was almost completely hidden by the notes and papers stuck onto the wall with pins. Hanji opened the door and stepped inside, motioning for you to come.

The door shut behind you and you looked over Hanji's shoulder as she beamed at you. The room was much larger than her office and with a higher ceiling. Windows lined the room, some covered by thin drapes. Bookshelves stood in rows like a still brigade awaiting orders. Books of different sizes and colors and shapes filled the shelves, the occasional paper sticking out here and there. The room was brightly lit by the afternoon sun light gleaming through the windows, giving it a warm and comforting feeling. You stepped closer to the bookshelves, the wood floor creaking as you did.

"Whoa," you breathed while Hanji walked past you and disappeared around a bookshelf. "I know right? You get used to it," she replied, voice trailing away as she lengthened the distance from you.

"I don't think I'll ever get used to this…," you breathed.

Suddenly Hanji's head popped around the shelf. "Well, what would you do if I offered you and Armin some privileges to go in here whenever you want?"

You grinned. "I would love you forever."

She motioned for you to follow. As you walked beside her and wove through the mass of paper, she spoke, "The old records of the experiments should be around here. We had a few titans in the past."

"How many?"

"Hmm. Several. We sometimes ended up killing a few during tests."

"How?" you inquired.

Hanji froze and you looked up to see her eyes glistening. She turned to you stiffly and wailed, "Oh it was horrible! We were performing a test to see if they could survive without their heads and most of their neck. They cut too high; right into the nape!"

You stared back at her as she sniffed, not sure what to make of her. Hanji abruptly turned around and started walking again. You blinked, surprised at the sudden transition. You didn't think you could ever get used to her. You quickly jogged back to her, almost running into her when she stopped suddenly by a pair of small brown boxes in the corner of the room. You squinted, the bright sunlight hitting your face despite most of the sun was already hidden in the horizon, making its way down for the day and letting the moon take the night shift.

"Here we are!" Hanji announced, bending down to pick up a box. You took the other box and scurried after her as she made her way back to the office door in long quick strides.

"So this is where the old records are stored in?" you asked.

"Most of them, yes. Some are scattered in the library and in Erwin's office. The other stuff in there are notes and documents and whatnot."

Hanji kicked open the door, making it swing open and tremble on its hinges. "Alright!" she exhaled, setting her box on her desk rather roughly. You heard its contents shift and clatter into each other. You placed your box on a smaller table across the room that was mostly covered in books. You picked up one of them and read the title: _'Astronomy_'. You flipped it open, leafing through its pages. You were suddenly intrigued by the charts and diagrams in the book, eyes quickly scanning over captions and headings.

You closed the book loudly and turned to Hanji. You opened your mouth to ask about the book when she cut you off, "Why not figure out yourself? Take it with you when you leave."

"Really?" Your eyes brightened.

"Sure," she said, her back to you as she pulled out thick folders full of paperwork out of the box and placed them on her already cluttered desk.

_Well okay then_, you thought happily.

You turned back to your box and opened it, pulling out documents. "So…what's my job?" You glanced over your shoulder at the scientist.

"Ah! That. Well," she said turning around, lacing her fingers together. "I actually wanted to talk to you about that,_."

You turned around, now interested and a little scared to hear what she about to say. "Yes..?"

"I want you take over when I'm dead-"

"Don't say it so bluntly!" you cried, incredulous, gripping the edge of the table.

"It happens to everyone someday, so why not?" she replied with a shrug. "And we are on the frontline of death, so."

"Well, yeah, we're all going to die someday, but you make it sound like you're going to do so soon. _Very soon._" You stared back at her in horror.

Her words still lingered in your mind. Now thoughts and images swirled before your mind, making you feel very concerned for your mental health. Great. A teenager with Existential Crisis. That couldn't go well; especially for someone like you who loved to read and think and thought of the most horrifying things and could put them into words and cause other people to think the same things and stay up at night and-

_Holy fucking shit. Shut up._

"What I'm trying to say is that I want you to carry on experiments. If we still don't get out of these walls and haven't defeated the titans yet and for some unknown reason I am dead, then yeah, take over."

You stared back her, mouth agape and eyes wide. You closed your mouth after a moment of silence and glanced around the room, not knowing how to respond. "Why me? What about Armin?" you asked, still not able to register what she was saying to you.

Hanji stuck out her lower lip in thought. "I see him as more of a Commander."

You nodded in agreement. "Yeah. He's got the morbid mind of Erwin, too."

"And the eyebrows," Hanji added, wrapping her fingers around her chin. "Don't forget the eyebrows."

"But why is it still me?" you asked. "I don't think I'm fit for this job. I mean, I guess I'm flattered that you trust me so much? But I kind of have some commitment issues and…"

"_." Her expression grew serious and you stopped blabbering. "I trust you very much. I see a lot of potential in you. Will you stop being such a worrywart and boost some confidence in you for a change?"

You paused, staring at your feet. You still were unsure of this. It was all pretty sudden. Your imagination started to get the better of you as you thought of the responsibilities you would have to take and the mistakes you would make and the consequences that followed. But you were a member of the Survey Corps, and it is your duty to protect and aid humanity. This could be a way to contribute to that besides killing titans. You gazed back up to Hanji, who was watching you patiently through her lenses. You pushed up your goggles, determination suddenly filling you. Yes, this was how you were going to contribute to that fight.

You bit your lip, still a little hesitant. "I'll…do what I can to help humanity fight back. I'll take over if the situation calls for it."

She gave you a curt nod. "Good. Now I have someone to count on. I want you to read these records and familiarize yourself with the process of experiments and the results we have collected from them." And with that, she turned back around and pulled out another stack or papers.

Okay then. You turned back to the records and took the first folder. You spent two hours reading and taking notes and writing your thoughts. Hanji had giving you a large notebook and a folder to keep your theories and notes in. For two hours you read about the experiments, soon going into the earlier ones, where some tests were not performed then at the time. The one test that was rarely seen in those earlier experiments was the communication test. And you kept reading something about a notebook; a woman named Ilse in the Survey Corps and her notebook. It had to be important or else it wouldn't have showed up so much in those records.

"Hanji," you began, breaking the silence. "Who's Ilse?"

You turned around when there was no answer from her. Her back was too you, and she lifted her head and gazed around the room, as if deciding wether or not not it was a good choice to answer.

She twirled around in her wheely chair, brown hair whipping in her face at the fast and fluid movement. You turned your body to face her, glancing over her stony face for some kind of reaction.

"I guess I should tell you then," she began. She took a deep breath and continued. "It was a long time ago, perhaps when you were just walking. Maybe you didn't exist at the time. The Survey Corps went out on an expedition. We entered the Forest of Giant Trees after much difficulty and there Levi found a notebook. It was on the ground, just laying there in the flowery meadow. It was so tattered. Some pages were beginning to fall out.

"But that wasn't the weird part. No, there are others; much more. There was one tree in the clearing. It had a little opening, like the kind animals use to nest in. Like a bird. But much bigger. Big enough to occupy a human being." She gazed around the room, her eyes finally settling on you. "And it did." The angle her head was in caused the glint of candlelight to make the lenses of her goggles entirely white. There was a moment of silence as you let the words sink into your mind.

"It was the body of a Survey Corps soldier. We found that out by the green cloak and emblem. It was a woman. The body had no head. It was obvious only one thing could have done that, and it was a titan. We later identified the body as Ilse Langar."

Your eyebrows furrowed in thought. "But…a titan wouldn't just leave a body there. It would eat it all. How did she get in the tree? What did the notebook say?"

"Hmm. We thought that as well. And be patient; I'm getting there. We identified her by using the notebook. It belonged to her. We found out that she was stranded when a group of titans had eaten her whole team. She managed to escape and ran, heading for the walls.

"While doing so, she was able to write in the notebook her thoughts and feelings. Her horse had been scared away and her gear was so badly damaged she could no longer use it. She wrote of her struggles of trying to survive. She did not give up. She had so many things she had wanted to do… She didn't last long. As she entered the forest, she encountered a six meter titan. She wrote it chased her until it was crouching right in front her.

"The titan spoke. 'Ymir,' 'Ymir-Sama.' Ilse wrote that the titan then bowed its head in respect, kneeling. She began questioning it of its origins and why the titans eat people. It responded with groans. Began groaning louder as her questioning took on a whole new intensity. It was as if it were in pain. It began attacking itself, tearing at the flesh around its eyes. Ilse wrote that this was when it grabbed her. As she was being eaten, she quickly wrote down more attributes about the titan before she was decapitated."

There was more silence as you stood there, staring at Hanji, aghast. Was this why you performed these communication tests? A titan talking? And was Ilse placed in that tree by the titan; a makeshift funeral? Questions and thoughts swirled in your head as you took up this new information.

"Do…do you have the notebook?" you asked finally.

"We have copies. It's not exactly in what you would call…good condition."

You nodded in understanding. "Will I be able to read them?"

"In time, yes."

"But why did the titan only decapitate her? Did it put her in the tree? Was there a reason for it saying that?"

Hanji shrugged. "We still have no clue as to what the titan's intention was."

You were about to ask more questions when Hanji cut you off. "I want you to not tell anyone this. Not even Armin; I'll will inform him myself. This information is very important and would be better off if we it did not release into the public. Do you understand?"

You nodded.

"Good! Now keep reading, _!" And with that she spun around back to her paperwork. You blinked, startled by her sudden transition. You turned back to the pile of documents and began reading again, having trouble concentration as the new information swirled around in your head.

When several minutes of silence passed, you looked up at the window in front of you. It was now dark outside, and you could faintly hear the crickets chirping. You just now realized how late it was. And that was when a sudden thought popped up in your head.

"Hey, Squad Leader?" you said, turning around.

"Hm?" she said, eyebrows raised.

"When will you experiment on Eren?"

"Oh yeah! That. Well, I recently got permission from Erwin, so very soon~!"

You cringed. Geez, experimenting on your best friend? That would be really weird. You could imagine yourself putting on gloves and staring at Eren with a creepy face, acting like Hanji all over him.

"Um, what kind of experiments will you perform?"

Hanji stuck out her lower lip. You noted she often did that while thinking and had done it several times before. "The regular experiments," she answered, "with some made specially for him. Why?"

"I just find it…weird that I have to help experiment on my best friend," you replied.

"Oh. Well, you'll get over it!"

"Thanks, Hanji. That's very comforting."

"You should. It's just a few experiments; I won't hurt him." There was pause before she added. "Much."

"Much!?"

"Yes."

"So you're planning on hurting him?!"

"Geez, someone is definitely worried about their boyfriend…" Hanji muttered under her breath.

"I heard that," you said, cheeks aflame.

"You're not together?" You shook your head vigorously. "Hm. Then I better not believe those rumors the cadets throw around."

You face palmed, letting out a groan. "There are actually rumors? What the heeeeeeelllll?" you groaned, letting the last word last longer than it shoulder have.

Hanji shrugged and looked out the window. "Ah! My, is it late. You should get to bed. I'm sorry for keeping you this long."

"It's no problem. I had a nice time talking with you today, Squad Leader," you said, grabbing your notebook, folder, and book.

You left her office, stretching. You carefully made your way through the empty and dark halls. Rumors, rumors, rumors. More like tumors. Great, another thing to make your already shitty life even more shitty.

_Everything's shitty,_you thought bitterly, letting out a sigh.

Suddenly you heard laughter and loud chatter. You realized you were in the boy's hallway. You must've wandered there while being lost in your thinking. Before you could react, a door opened behind you and someone pulled you in, making you yelp.

"Look maw! I caught a bitch!" guffawed a voice mimicking a southern accent. Laughter soon followed.

You squinted in the bright light, eyes adjusting slowly. Your eyes widened when you realized where you where and you thrashed in Reiner's grip, wiggling out of it. You stood, tense, eyes darting around, clutching your things. All around sat your male comrades, mostly the ones from your training squad. Everyone. They stared at you as Reiner made another joke, causing everyone to laugh. Your eyes landed on a pair of turquoise eyes and you stepped back.

Eren shrunk back behind Marco when you caught his gaze, his eyes widening.

You turned back to Reiner, angry. "What the _fuck,_Reiner!"

"What?" he simply asked, grinning.

"Don't grab me like that! Why would you just…take me into your cult? I was heading for my room."

"Aw, come on, _."

You huffed and turned to the door but realized Reiner was blocking it. "Why don't you stay?" he suggested.

You glared up at him. He knew you wouldn't be able to leave with him standing there. You considered punching him, but the guy was a beast, towering high able you, and probably three times your weight. Fuck.

You were forced to face the fact that you were trapped. You turned back to the boys and glared at them all. "If any of you touches me I'll be forced to perform mass murder."

The room was filled with laughter. You growled and stepped across the room, muttering, "You're disrespect for the female gender makes me sick," while making sure to step on a few people in the process, and plopped down beside Eren, who stared at you with wide eyes. He was the only one in the room you felt comfortable around. You gripped your books and folder to your chest, staring back at him, eyebrows furrowed. "Why are you even here?" you asked him. It really wasn't like him to gossip or anything like that. Well, you weren't so sure know, because he had been here before.

Eren averted your gaze and picked at his jeans. Another round of laughter exploded around the room, causing you to cringe as your ear popped slightly.

Eren answered, "I got dragged in here like you. I think they set us up or something." Only then did he lift his gaze to meet yours, giving you a weak smile. You only rolled your eyes.

"Of course we set you guys up!" Connie said from across the room. "Who do you think we are?"

"Douchebags with no lives and have no goals but to annoy the shit out of people," you retorted. There was a pause before chuckles erupted around the room.

"No! We're fun guys!"

"Uh-huh," you said, laying your chin in your palm. "You keep telling yourself that Connie. Have fun waiting for it to come true."

Eren snickered beside you.

You glanced at him but then returned your gaze on Connie. "What's with the set up?"

"Well," Jean said, sitting down beside you. "We wanted some answers and we got information from a certain someone and set up a plan-"

"Good job. For the first time in your life you bunch of bozos were smart."

"Haha! Very funny," Reiner muttered.

You gave him a cheeky grin and winked. "It is actually."

You turned back to Jean and asked, "So who's this certain someone you got information from?"

Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed a short blond lean back between Bertholdt and Connie. You whipped around, your eyes landing on Armin. He gave you a nervous smile.

"Aw! Traitor!" you cried, pointing at him dramatically.

"What was I supposed to do?! They had me cornered." Armin averted your eyes, fiddling with the hem of his shirt.

You sighed, pressing a palm to your forehead. You returned your gaze on Jean and asked him, "So what is it that you guys want?"

"I want to know if Mikasa really does like me," he answered curtly.

"Well," Connie spoke up, "that's what he wants to know. I want to know if Sasha likes me!"

All around the room questions were fired at you at once. You glanced at Eren and he shrugged. Sighing, you called out, "Will you all just shut the fuck up?!"

The men quieted.

You groaned. "Jesus, people, is this what you dragged me in here for?"

You were answered with nods and 'yeah's'.

You glowered at them, distaste in your gaze. You really just wanted to to go the fuck to sleep. Or read in your room. Whatever- you just wanted to get out. You groaned again. "Why should I tell you anything? Can't you do it yourselves?"

"Nope."

"Hell no!"

"I would if I could…"

"Come on, _," Connie whined impatiently. "Just tell us already!"

"Why?" you snapped.

"Because we could offer you something," Reiner said, waggling his eyebrows at you.

"God, I could just throw up right now," you muttered under your breath to Eren. Louder, you said, "What're you offering?"

"Eren."

Eren sat up straight at the sound of his name. "What the fuck? Is that why I'm here?" he asked, hands clenched into fists. You glanced at him, leaning away from him. He leaned away from you, glancing away from you. Oh great.

"Reiner, what the hell. Is he like…kidnapped or something?" You looked at the huge blond, pointing a thumb at the dark haired boy beside you as Reiner grinned at you.

"You could say that."

More laughter.

You turned to Eren. "Are you playing along with this or…?"

"Why would I?" He scowled, crossing his arms. You raised an eyebrow.

You thought about your options. Leave Eren and don't give away any information, or save your best friend and give information. You were unhappy with both options. You held out your hands, glancing back and forth at them.

_Eeny, meanie, miny, mo…catch the tiger by the toe…_

Everyone watched as you continued looking back and forth at your hands.

…_he hollers let him go and you are IT._

Well then.

You slumped, unhappy about your choice.

Leave Eren.

"So…what if I refuse?"

"Eren won't be able to leave."

_Oh for fucking Pete's sake._

"Wow, what a great situation you've put us in," you said bitterly. "Why don't I just kill you all right now or leave? Eren, you can fight."

Eren shook his head, distraught. "Outnumbered." You raised your eyebrow quizzically. When the fuck has Eren Jaeger ever backed down? Something was seriously wrong with him.

"Well fuck." You turned back to the other boys, knowing that Eren wouldn't really be of much help in his state. "Fine! I'll comply to your cult's deal. What do you want to know?"

The next few minutes were spent making boys disappointed or either extremely glad. You spoke up after a while. "Can't you guys just…talk to the girls?"

"Like hell we'd do that," Connie said, waving a hand dismissively. The other boys agreed.

"You guys do know that…that's the best way to make them feel special?" you asked. They stared at you as you continued to speak. "Instead of making up some weird ass plan to win the girl over and look…cool, they'll find it a hell of a lot better if you just tell them how you feel. I know you men can never talk anything out unless your fists are involved in some way, I know it'll be hard, but boohoo, suck it up and just talk to them already. Saves a hell of a lot of time, ya know."

You slumped forward when they didn't say anything. Eren stared at you for a moment and you caught something in his eye, but he flickered his gaze to the floor.

Marco spoke up, "She's right…actually."

You shrugged. "I just want to get out of here, man."

"But…," Jean whimpered, "how are we supposed to do that?"

"What? Do you guys want me to, like, give you lessons?"

Most of the boys nodded. You face palmed. "What the fuck? You're supposed to have confidence. That's what you men live and breathe for."

"But its _haaarrd!_" whined Connie, squirming where he sat.

Sighing, you realized they needed serious help. It wouldn't be so bad coaching the guys. You could help them into relationships, which is what the girls would really like. Everyone needed love, especially in this world where you need something to distract you from the titans.

You stood, fists on your hips. "I, _ _, have come to the decision, that, out of the goodness of my heart, will teach you bunch of…_men_the ways of speaking and associating with my gender!"

There was silence before someone raised their fist and shouted, "Yeah!"

Before you knew it, others were doing the same. Eren sat uncomfortably, not really knowing what to do.

You sat back down beside the dark haired boy. "So what girls are you trying to get?" you asked, lacing your fingers together.

"Sasha!"

"Mikasa~!"

More names were shouted at you and you sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose. This was going to be difficult. The next hour was mostly spent in lecturing them on the concept of "Being Yourself." It took a while to let then know that. Even longer answering their questions. Oh god, the questions were getting stupider and stupider until you couldn't take it anymore and became impatient and snappy. All the while, Eren sat beside you listening to you speak, eye brows furrowed as if deep in thought.

Pinching the bridge of your nose (again), you sat up straighter and gazed around the room, impatient with the men now. You took a deep breath and pulled off your goggles, rubbing your eyes. "Anyone know the time?" you asked, dropping your hands from your face.

"It's almost midnight, actually," Armin answered.

"What!? Okay, teacher is going to bed," you announced, rising and taking your things. Everyone stood and headed for the door except Reiner and Bertoldt, who lived in the room.

"Thanks for the advice, _," Armin said sheepishly.

You patted his shoulder, smiling as you walked out the door. "No problem, Armin. I hope you get somewhere with Annie."

As the others also began to thank you, you noticed you didn't really see Eren. You looked around the almost empty and dark hallway as the boys disbanded and headed for their rooms, eyes landing on turquoise orbs as you turned around. You jumped, startled, muttering, "Holy shit."

Eren weakly chuckled. You raised an eyebrow, clutching your things to your chest. "Eren, you've been quiet the whole time. I can tell something's wrong."

"I'm fine…just…," he paused, choosing his words carefully. "I'm just a little distracted."

Distracted? Where's the focused fucker you knew?

"Why not read a book? A distraction from your distraction. Heh."

"You're as bad as Armin; always trying to get me to read."

"Oh come on. It's not that bad."

"No, but it gets boring you know?"

His eyes landed on the thick book in you arms. You held it out for him to see. "Astronomy. Want to read it?"

"What's 'astronomy'?"

You almost dropped your book. You gaped at Eren, eyes wide. Who the fuck hasn't ever heard of astronomy? Well, a lot of people, you realized. They didn't care about stars or planets. "Eren, I know you're a dumbass, but you really can't be that much of one."

"Shut up," he said playfully,rolling his eyes.

"It's stars and the sun and the moon and stuff. The science behind them." You stretched your arm. "Want to read it?"

He stared at the book and blinked. Shrugging, he took the book and placed it under his arm. "Sure, why not."

You smiled at him, rubbing your eyes. Good. Now the boy could read a book for once. "Goodnight, Eren," you said tiredly, moving to head back to your room.

"Wait."

You turned back and gazed at him questionably when he didn't talk right away. He bit his lip, staring at the floor. Something flashed in his eyes. What was that?

"Never mind…"

He turned and started down the hall, not waiting for a reply. You watched him open his door before turning around. Something was definitely wrong. Since when has Eren Jaeger hesitated to speak what was on his mind? Why was he being such…such a wuss, today? It annoyed you; where was the fierce determination and passion that raged inside him that you admired? Something that drove you forward? You sighed, turning the corner and entering the girls' hall, walking quietly to your room. You opened the door and stepped inside the dark room.

Whatever was causing Eren to be so…_unEren_ would have to be pretty serious. You didn't bother removing your clothes and changing into sleepwear; too tired to care.

You drifted off to sleep, hoping not to have any nightmares tonight.

_**Well. Um. I feel like these chapters are getting worse and worse. I don't know why. Ehhhh just low self esteem. I started chapter 9 and its pretty angsty in the beginning? I was actually worried for my mental health while writing it.**_

_**And I realized after eight chapters that I have been putting, 'Part' at the top of every chapter. I changed it to chapter. God, I'm so dumb. Well, I need to get my drawing done for my PMV. Its not of this, btw.**_

_**Okey doke, thanks for the lovely reviews! **_


	9. Chapter 9

**Reader x Eren Jaeger Chapter Nine**

_Latching your hooks onto the cobblestone building, you braced your legs as you skidded across the roof, ceramic tiles flying everywhere. You stood and gazed around, eyes landing on the titans roaming through the city. There was a titan nearby with a soldier in its grasp. You growled and jumped off the roof, and with a burst of gas, you flung yourself at the titan, blades drawn and ready to slice into flesh._

_With a shout, you spun your blades around, digging into the titan's nape before it can raise the person to its mouth. You landed on the ground, watching the titan as it collapsed to the ground, steaming. Your gaze landed a person nearby. Your eyes widened as you realized it was Armin. You ran over to him, fear gripping at your heart._

_"Armin!" you cried, skidding to your knees beside him, ripping your pants and grazing your skin. He didn't respond. He was covered in blood. And it wasn't titan blood; there was no steam._

_Panic began to settle within you and you shook his shoulder, gazing into his unmoving blue eyes._

_"Armin!"_

_"Save me," he said, monotone, just as a titan stepped around the corner in front of you. You looked up, drawing your blades._

_"_, save me," he said again._

_"What are you doing!?" You breathed heavily, fear and panic beginning to take its toll in you. You found it harder and harder to breath now. "Get up!"_

_"_," said another voice._

_You turned around, facing the dark haired Mikasa. She was covered in as much blood as Armin, and it wasn't steaming as well. She tugged at her red scarf, standing a few feet away from you. Behind her another titan appeared out of nowhere._

_"Save me," she pleaded in the same robotic voice._

_"Save me," he said, blue eyes shifting to you. They bore into you._

_You felt tears spring to your eyes. What was happening? Why wouldn't he get up? Why wouldn't she move!? The constricted feeling in your chest was getting more and more congested, making it harder for you to breathe._

_"Move! Run! Go, of you'll die!" you screamed._

_"Save me."_

_"Save me."_

_You screamed, clutching your head as hot tears fell onto your cheeks, burning and stinging your eyes._

_"Save me."_

_"Save me."_

"Save me."

"Save me."

_You fell to your knees, sobs wracking your body. Why couldn't they shut up? Why didn't they move?_Why?!

"_."

_You froze, the presence of the titans nearing._

No, _you thought._ Oh god, not him. Not him.

_You looked up, vision blurry, but you could still make out the angular face and dark hair that cascaded in curtain like motions across his face, those huge turquoise eyes now devoid of emotion and life. Yet he was still breathing and standing in front of you, just as bloodied as Mikasa and Armin._

_"Eren?"_

_"Save me," he said. At the last word, another titan appeared behind him, mouth curled into a permanent smile._

_"Save me." Armin._

_"Save me." Mikasa._

_"Save me." Eren._

_More voices popped up, so did the titans. The voices were of your comrades, and as you looked around, they stood in a circle around you, blood dripping from their uninjured bodies, the same lifeless eyes gazing deep into you. You stood, tears still pouring from your eyes. Their pleads were getting louder and louder, and the thundering footsteps of titans grew nearer and multiplied._

_"Save me," Eren repeated, staring at you._

_With a scream of frustration, you drew your blades. Everything was a blur of blood and flesh. You felt your blades sink into their targets, slicing deep into the titan's flesh. You slashed and spun and sliced and chopped at the skin, but the titans wouldn't stop coming and your comrades pleads were getting louder despite the noise. With horrifying realization, you realized they were in your head._

_You faltered, another sob escaping your throat. You fell back to the ground, no more gas or blades. Their pleads were getting louder and louder until they were screaming, agony and anguish filling their voices._

_"Save me!"_

"_!"

_"Save me!"_

_Save me. Save me_. Save me! Save me! SAVE ME. SAVE ME!

"_."

_You screamed._

You opened your eyes just as you hit the floor.

Disoriented, it took you a minute to figure out where you were. Objects came into view. Even as they cleared up, they were still blurry. You stayed in your spot on the cold floor, numb and stricken with fear.

I_t was just a nightmare, _._

You rolled onto your back, touching a hand to your face. It was wet with tears. You sat up, muscles aching, and sighed through your nose, rubbing your face. Your throat was scratchy. Your back hurt. The shoulder you landed on hurt. You ached all over. You pulled your knees to your chest and buried your face in your arms, shutting your eyes.

Is was a dream. You usually had nightmares, but nothing was compared to the one you just had. They never involved your friends. Never them. It was only about you- only you. Wether it be your greatest fears or either the titans. Nothing like that. You took a deep breath, toes curling.

Standing, you began to get ready for another day when something outside your window caught your eye. You walked to it, hands gripping the latch to slide it open. You smiled, gazing at the wonderful color of white everywhere. Snow began to fall heavily in clumps. The trees looked as if they had white leaves with all the snow piled on the branches. You realized there was a lot of snow; it didn't look like it would be slowing its pace or stop for a while. Suddenly whoops and loud pounding footsteps thundered outside your room.

"Snow!" a bubbly voice cried.

You ran out of your room, opening the door. You faced Sasha, who ran past you. She whipped around and faced you. There was a pause as she inspected your stony face. You raised your arms and with a big grin, you shouted, "Snow!"

She returned the gesture. "Snow!"

"Snow!"

"Snow!"

"Snow!"

"Snow!"

"…."

"…."

"SNOW!" you both screamed at the same time, causing Ymir to shout through her door.

"We get it: there's white shit everywhere! Now could you both just shut up?!"

You cringed while Sasha flinched at the freckled woman's shout. You giggled and grinned at Sasha. She grinned back at you. You both did jazz hands and loudly whispered, "Snow!"

Sasha took your hands in hers. "Have you heard,_?"

You shook your head.

"We get a day off to play in the snow!" she laughed, running away down the hall.

You stood there, snorting. You returned to your room and got ready before heading for breakfast.

Shuffling down the halls, you tugged on your jacket, a bit more happy then you were this morning, even after that nightmare. You opened the doors to the cafeteria, finding it bustling with people getting their breakfast. You grabbed your bread roll and a cup of coffee and looked around the room, searching for somewhere to sit. You spotted Eren talking with Armin. He looked like he was having a pretty serious conversation from the way his mouth moved and the look of confusion on his face. Armin held up his hand to calm him down but Eren just became more distressed, eye brows furrowing. Intrigued, you made your way across the room to their table, catching onto some of their conversation as you neared.

"…min, please tell me what to do! You're smart! Please?"

"But what about last night? That should have been enough information."

Last night? What about last night?

_Save me…_

You willed your nightmare to get out of your head.

"Armin-"

You set your plate and mug down beside Eren's, making the two boys look up at you. You lifted a hand and waved. "Yo," you greeted, sitting down.

"Good morning, _," Armin said politely. Eren gaped at you, cheeks slightly flushed.

"Good morning, Armin," you replied, taking a sip of your coffee. The warm creamy taste made its way down your throat, heating you from the inside.

Armin gave Eren a small glare when he didn't say anything.

"Oh! Uh, hey, _."

You reached over and ripped a piece of your roll, dipping it into your coffee. "What were you guys talking about?"

"N-nothing," Eren answered, reaching for his own mug of coffee. Armin snorted.

"Where's Mikasa?" you asked, turning your head to look for the dark haired girl.

"Sick," Armin said between bites. "She has a cold."

"Did she eat already?"

"She said she got breakfast for Jean. Said it was 'nice of him'."

You threw your bread onto your plate, startling Eren beside you. "Aha! So my advice worked!"

Armin nodded, agreeing. "I'm pretty sure your advice is doing wonders to the guys."

Eren nodded. "Just look at Sasha and Connie." He pointed at the two who were having a food fight, laughing. You noted how close the two were sitting.

Chuckling, you sipped at your coffee. "Hey guys, want to go outside and have some fun in the snow later?"

"That would be fun," said Armin.

"Shouldn't we be training or something?" Eren asked.

"Eren, you gotta loosen up," you suggested. "Seriously."

He sighed, laying his head in his palm. You glanced at Armin but he only shrugged, though you knew he knew what was wrong with Eren.

"Eren," you coaxed.

He grunted, not looking at you.

"If you don't come outside then I'll be forced to drag you."

He muttered something you couldn't hear.

"What was that?" you asked, leaning closer.

"I said, 'Go ahead. Like you can.'" He turned around to face you and you expected him to lean back because you were so close, but he didn't.

"Is that a challenge I hear?"

Armin snorted in the background.

You stared threateningly at Eren, leaning closer. He held his ground, staring back you. His gaze faltered for a moment and you leaned back, grinning. He rolled his eyes, a faint pink in his cheeks. He stared at his food, eyebrows furrowed, seemingly confused. You noticed how your heart sped up when you saw the color in his cheeks. When have you started liking that color that rose to his face?

You snorted at his face. You turned to Armin with a grin. He smiled back at you. "Will_you_go outside with me later?"

"I'll try to. I may have some chores to do."

You sipped at your coffee, eyeing Eren. He glanced at you and took a bite of his bread. You stuck out your tongue at him and he did the same. He turned back to his food, chuckling.

"Hey, _!" called a familiar voice. You whipped your head around to the owner, Connie, who stood beside Sasha, Jean, and Marco.

_Save me…_

_Fuck off._

"Want to help us build a snowman?" Sasha asked.

"Oh, you betcha!" you called back, standing. You waved at your two friends. "See you later guys!"

You ran off without cleaning up to Connie an the others. "Let me get dressed up," you said. "I'll meet you outside!" You ran to your room without and answer and swung open your closet, snatching your winter clothing. Just as you were slipping on your coat, there was a knock at your door.

You opened it a crack and your grinned at Eren. He was wearing his winter coat and snow boots. He rolled his eyes. "What made you change your mind?" you asked, opening the door wider.

"I like snow," he said simply, glancing up to meet your gaze.

"Liar. That's not why you changed your mind."

"Whatever-can we just go?"

"Yeah, yeah."

You pulled on your snow boots and closed the door behind you, following Eren as you walked toward the doors that lead to the garden. Everything was coated in the white shit. You giggled, running through the snow, kicking it behind you.

"_! Hold up!" Eren called behind you, running after you. You ignored him and ran to the clearing beside the garden where you could see figures rolling up snow and packing it into a snowman. As you neared, you realized it wasn't a snowman.

"Connie, what the hell?!" you screeched, horrified at the snow-dick he was making in the snow.

He cackled, holding his sides. Behind the snow-dick was Reiner. He held up a fist and yelled, "YEAH!"

Eren skidded to a halt beside you. "What the…," he muttered, staring at the sculpture Connie and Reiner were creating. He burst into laughter, falling to his knees. You snorted and laughed with him. As weird as it was, the snow-dick was pretty funny. You leaned against Eren, still laughing. He wheezed, wiping tears from his eyes. You looked back up at the snow-dick and found Connie and Reiner circling it, hands clasped together, singing. You and Eren exploded with laughter at the sight. Sasha, Jean, and Marco appeared behind you. Sasha bent down and grabbed a handful of snow and packed it into a ball. She whipped her hand back and flung the snowball at Connie. It hit his head and he flinched, screaming, "What the fuck?"

You cackled as the three behind you began throwing snowballs at each other. You crawled away, leaving Eren in the middle of the projectiles. You hid behind a tree and began making snowballs, reading to supply anyone.

Sasha lifted a fist to the air. "FOR POTATOES!" she screeched, running at the Connie with a mass of snowballs in her wool hat. She flung them at him as he tripped and staggered through the snow, desperately trying to get away. Jean and Marco were having a snowball fight of their own, shoving snow into each others jackets. Eren, who you left behind, appeared beside you.

"You left me!" he said. You laughed at the sight of him. He was covered in snow from head to toe. His face was flushed pink and his ears were red. Your breaths came out in little clouds.

"Eren! We must join forces!" you said, holding out your hand.

"Fine!" He took your hand, sealing the contract. "But only because I don't want to get pelted with snow anymore."

You passed him half of your snowball supply. "Fire!" you screeched, flinging the snow at Reiner. Eren shouted, aiming for the blond's head.

"Ah! Guys!" Reiner shouted, putting up his hands to protect his face as snow hit his arms.

You quickly made more snowballs as Eren attacked from your fort of trees and bushes. Suddenly, Marco ran at you two and jumped over the bush, landing beside you. Before you could react, the freckled boy held out a hand, saying, "Allies?"

You shook his hand. "Allies!" you confirmed.

Now with Margo on your force, he helped you make more snowballs. Soon more of your friends joined the attack, Bertholdt and Ymir and Christa, joining forces with Connie and Reiner. Jean joined you and soon Armin was part of your team.

You took a stick and began devising a plan with your team. You pointed at Marco. "You go and run behind their fort. Destroy their supplies. Jean and Armin: you two attack from the front. Eren and I will attack by the sides. When I give the signal, we a strike at once. Got it?"

"Roger!"

"Yup."

"Okay!"

"Hell yeah!"

You and your team began moving into positions, your individual supply of snowballs in your pockets and hats. Connie's head popped up from behind their fort, which consisted of some densely packed snow, rocks, and a bush. "Invad-" the bald boy alerted.

Jean threw a ball at Connie, interrupting his words. The boy fell backward at the impact, disoriented.

"Attack!" you yelled, raising a fist and sprinting forward. Your team began doing their jobs. You spotted Marco from the corner of your eye smashing their fort, tumbling past a startled at Ymir and Christa as he landed on the pile of snowballs. Ymir growled and lunged at the freckled boy, latching onto his leg. Jean and Armin kept throwing snowballs, but they were running low fast. You realized your opponents made more than one pile of snowballs. Reiner and Bertholdt were overpowering your teammates. You and Eren threw snowball after snowball until you were the only one on your team with one.

"_!" screeched Marco from where Ymir sat on top of him. "Save me!"

You faltered, hand pulled back to fling another snowball.

"No, me, _!" pleaded Jean as Reiner tacked him.

"Save me!"

This was…just like your dream. _Oh fuck._ You dropped the snowball and bit your lip, trying to stay calm as the images from your nightmare came back into your mind.

"_?" Eren asked, concern in his voice when you still wouldn't move.

The terrible nightmare was back in your mind. Why couldn't you shake it off like before? The images worsened. Your blood covered friends. Those lifeless unmoving eyes. The robotic deadpan voices. The helpless feeling, the tears, the voices, the blood, the screams, the sobs, the horrible horrible titans that wouldn't stop coming no matter how many you killed they just wouldn't-

You turned around on your heel and ran. You didn't care where you were going, just as long as it were somewhere that could distract you from the dream. Something hot stung your eyes and you realized they were tears.

"_!" you heard a voice call. You heard the soft_pomf_ of someone running after you.

You ignored it. You just kept running, but it was so tiring running through snow, like you were doing so in water or in sludge. Your legs ached but you urged yourself forward. You ran into the snowy garden, passing the powdered flower beds the tree where you and Eren climbed up and talked, passing the frozen pond and rows birdhouses, where you finally skidded to a halt in front of a giant oak tree that stood at the end of the garden, surrounded by snow. You stared at it for a moment, hot tears no longer pouring from your eyes.

"_!"

You ignored the plea and stepped forward, examining the tree's perimeter. You noticed a little hole, like the kind rabbits hid in, only this time it was slightly bigger. You poked a hand inside, curious. You grabbed onto the trees side and with a strong push off the ground with your foot, you laid your knee in the fork of the tree where the trunk split off into two main branches. You looked below you and found the tree to be mostly hollow. Perfect. You slipped a foot inside experimentally, noting how roomy it was inside the giant tree. You slid inside, hearing footsteps near. There was only room for you to curl up against the trunk's walls. It reminded you of a cocoon. Cocoons were nice.

You watched the sunlight that drifted in from the holes in the trunk, snow falling in little flurries. You shifted and took a handful of the snow inside, packing it into a little mountain. Nice and quiet. Calm and peaceful. You closed your eyes, willing the images to get out of your head. Why did you just run off like that? Now they're looking for you; why not just come out?

_But it's warm,_ you thought._And it's so quiet._

They probably thought you were weird now. One moment you're having fun, the next you're having a breakdown over some stupid nightmare.

_But it's not so stupid if it made me break down_, you thought to yourself again.

That was true. Why did it impact you this much? It was only a nightmare; you get those all the time. But that one was worse than the others. They were always of you being eaten, or getting lost in the woods, or being left behind on an expedition, or being surrounded by titans with only one blade and a quarter of a tank of gas. This one didn't just include you. It included everyone you knew. Reiner, Ymir, Hanji, Sasha, Armin, Mikasa, Eren.

"_?"

_Well, speak of the devil_.

You opened your eyes and looked up. Eren's flushed face hovered high above yours at the top opening of the hollow. You sniffed, not responding.

"Why did you run?"

You looked down and stared at your feet. You'd rather be alone at the moment.

"Are you okay?" His voice was gentle and full of concern.

You wiped your eyes. "I don't know," you muttered.

Eren furrowed his eyebrows, not knowing what to do. He looked like he was going to leave for a moment before his eyes hardened and he looked back into the hollow at you. "Move over; I'm coming in."

You shuffled to the side as his feet slid in. One hit you on the head. "Sorry," he said, as he sat down next to you. There wasn't much space, so your legs were jumbled up in his and his should pressed against yours. Finally he stopped moving and looked you in the eye.

"What's wrong?"

You shifted uncomfortably. Your breaths came out in little steamy clouds. You were literally a foot away from Eren's face. You felt you should be embarrassed pressed up to a boy in such a…confined place but the situation didn't really fit.

You didn't know if you should tell him of not. He was your best friend. He could help you…

"I have nightmares, Eren," you start.

Something in his gaze shifted. "Oh. What kind of nightmares? If you don't mind telling me."

"What other nightmares are we supposed to have in this world? It's mostly about titans. Me being eaten. Left behind. Dying."

He shifted closer to you as you spoke. His hand lay beside yours, you noted.

"But the nightmare I had recently was different. It had…everyone. Armin, Mikasa, Marco, Jean. You. And a whole bunch of other people we know." You hugged your knees, laying your chin in your knees.

"You were just…standing there. Titans were everywhere; why couldn't you move? It felt so real, Eren, like you all depended on me to kill all of those titans and save you all. But I couldn't because there were too many. I kept screaming for you to move. But you guys wouldn't. And I was screaming and crying because I realized the voices were in my head and you were all covered in blood but it wasn't titan blood because it wasn't giving off steam." You took a shaky breath.

"'Save me', '_, save me', 'save me'. You just kept saying that. And then you started saying it louder until you were all screaming…"

Eren stared at the snow mountain you made, eyes brows furrowed. You waited for him to tell you to 'snap out of it. It's only a dream. You're being childish.' But it never came. Silently, he snaked an arm across your shoulders, pulling you even closer to him. He rested your head across his chest, and you could hear the fast thumping of his heart beating against his ribcage. Why was it so fast? Startled, you froze, blushing. His fingers found your hair and started caressing it in slow, gentle movements. You gripped his coat, staring at the ground.

"_, if you think I'm going to tell you that you're stupid for telling me these things, I-I won't."

He could read you like an open book, you realized.

"It's going to be okay. You do realize its just a dream? It can't hurt you anymore than it already did."

"But it can hurt me," you said softly, listening to his thundering heart beat. Seriously, why was it so fast? "I could lose you any day now. It always happens."

"Idiot, you have to have more faith. We don't die so easily, you know?"

You closed your eyes, nodding.

"I won't die so easily, either. Not until we leave these walls…I'll gladly submit to death there."

"Why then?"

"Because then, my dream would come true, and there won't be any titans to fight, and humanity would have won. I wouldn't mind dying by the ocean."

You paused, silent, taking in his words.

"So do you understand? We won't die so soon. Not yet. We-I care about you just as much as you care about me. S-so, I won't go down without a fight. If I don't, then I'll never hear the end of it in the afterlife."

You noted his his heart sped up at those words.

"Eren?"

"Y-yeah?"

"Why is your heart beating so quickly? Are you claustrophobic…?"

His fingers stopped playing with you hair when he spoke. "Believe me, its not that that's making it speed up."

Your eyes snapped open at his words and you blushed, understanding. You lifted your head to look at him and shot him a glare. His words finally caught up with him because he soon was blushing like mad, averting your gaze.

"Forget I, um, said that. We s-should probably get out now…"

Before he could even get a chance to get up, you wrapped your arms around him, shutting your eyes. He still stood, head poking out of the trunk's entrance, taking you with him. He blushed when you buried your face in his stomach.

"_," he stammered.

You grunted back, muffled because of his coat. You let go, letting Eren come out first. You slithered out of the hollow, surprised to see a hand outstretched to you. You blushed at the gesture. Eren was turned away from you, tugging the collar of his coat to cover his red face. You took his hand, which was surprisingly warm, and let him help you out of the hollow. You expected him to let go once he helped you, but he didn't. You stared at him for a moment, regarding him with patient eyes.

"_…About a few days ago…," he started, looking back at you and meeting your (e/c) gaze.

"I-I, er, didn't mean for t-that to, um, happen, so uh…"

What was he talking about? Oh wait. You blushed like mad when you remembered your sparring practice that day. You looked away, taking your hand out of his grip and shoving them into your pockets.

"It's fine," you said quietly. He nodded, obviously embarrassed.

"Lets go." Eren walked off with you behind him, shuffling in the snow.

Why did you still feel despair even after those comforting words from him? Weren't they enough? Sighing, you tugged at your collar, falling behind.

"_!"

You looked up, as well as Eren, at the rest of your friends across the garden. You ran to them.

"Why did you run off all of a sudden?" Jean asked with a scowl. You knew, despite that, that he was still worried.

"Sorry, I…," you didn't want to tell them about your dream and your talk with Eren, so you decided to lie. "I got dizzy all of a sudden and felt like I had to hurl so I, um, high tailed it out of there."

Sasha grabbed your face in her hands. "Oh, _! Are you alright? I feel so sorry for you!" She squeezed you a bone crushing hug.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine, thanks Sasha," you wheezed, breathless. The brunette let go of you and stepped back.

"At least you're feeling better," Marco said with a smile.

You felt a presence beside you and turned to see Eren standing beside you, shoulder touching yours.

"Did you go with her, Eren?" Reiner asked.

Eren nodded.

Connie snickered. "I'm guessing nothing…oh, I don't know, sexual happened, huh?"

He barely had anytime to laugh when you stepped forward and punched him in the jaw. No one tried to stop you, though. They just watched in surprise and amusement as Connie fell back onto his butt.

"Ow! What the he-"

"You're constant harassment of the female gender makes me want to throw up," you spat.

"Yeah, Connie, you're getting really annoying with the couple stuff," Eren said.

You huffed, turning your back to Connie, who looked like he immediately regretted what he said.

"Weren't we haveing a snowball fight?" you asked.

Ymir grinned down at you. "Oh, you want to bring out the war again?"

"Oh, you betcha!" you growled back, grinning up at her.

You turned to your original team and cried, "Battle stations!"

Soon you were having another snowball war despite how freezing cold you were. Everything was fun and games until Connie decided to run out onto the frozen pond and fell through the ice. And then none of you could feel your limbs and decided it was best to go inside. They were serving hot chocolate at the cafeteria, and you decided to take a mug and go by the library in Hanji's office. She, of course, she let you in with a bright smile.

You wandered around the bookshelves, sipping at your hot chocolate. You reached the far end of the room where the windows were. It was dark enough outside by bright enough outside for you to see your reflection against the glass.

You stared at your reflection, taking in the details of your face. (H/c) (h/l) cascaded around your still flushed face, which was still stinging from the heat of inside. Your ears and nose were red, as well of your cheeks, and they reminded you to little cherries. Your (e/c) eyes glanced all over your face.

You turned away from your reflection, huffing. You stuck out your lower lip, staring at the bookshelves. What you wouldn't give to read that astronomy book. But you gave it to Eren so…

You bit your lip and continued to saunter around the shelves, letting your fingers brush against the leather spines of the books, eyes quickly skimming over the titles. They were mostly of science. Only a few titles you read seemed like they were maps or actual stories. You found a book that interested you and slid it out from its tight space between its paged friends and opened it, quickly absorbing its contents. In the midst of your intense reading, you failed to notice that the door opened and closed. You didn't even hear the footsteps coming straight to you.

"_?"

You inhaled sharply, closing the book with a smack and whipping around, bumping into the person behind you. You tripped, stumbling forward until the person was pressed against the bookshelf, you clinging to him.

You looked up, realizing it was Eren, and you relaxed.

"Holy shit, Eren, you scared me…," you breathed.

"Um, yeah, sorry about that, but could you please get off me? It's, um, kinda…"

You blushed, complying. "Sorry." He stood in front of you in his usual attire, arms behind his back like he was holding something. Then it finally hit you that he was in here when only a select few could. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh. I just wanted to find you. I knew you hung around Hanji's office often and she told me you were in here."

"Oh…" You shifted from foot to foot, awkward silence settling in. There was a pause before he cleared his throat and revealed the item behind his back, which was the astronomy book you lent him yesterday.

"Oh. Done reading it?" you asked, taking the book from him.

He made a face. "Not…really."

"Boring?"

"Yeah…" He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

You placed the book under your arm. "Hm. I can help with that."

"Huh?" His turquoise eyes snapped to you (e/c) orbs, tentative.

You nodded your head in the direction of where you were going to lead him. "C'mon."

Reluctantly, the man followed you as you wove through the maze of shelves.

_Man…,_ you thought. When had you started recognizing him as that? He certainly wasn't a boy anymore, not the one you knew as trainees. No. He was a man; broad shoulders, booming voice, large back. You shook the thoughts out of your head as you sat down, propped up against the end of a bookshelf at the end of the room. Eren appeared around it and paused for a moment, taking you in. He finally settled beside you with a grunt, shoulder pressed into yours. It reminded you of your position in the hollow, where there was barely any room. Here, there was a lot of it. Why sit so close?

You laid the book in your lap, one side on your leg, the other on his. You had it opened to a random page. You smiled at the text.

You raised your arms and said to Eren, "Time to make this book interesting!"

He covered his face in annoyance, but you knew he was smiling underneath his hand.

_**Whoooaaa! Long chapter! Over 5,000 words! Geez, Combustible.**_

_**Anyway, hope you like this chapter. Can't believe how fast I wrote this. I'll be working on an upcoming Jean x Reader insert so updates may or may not be as fast as this chapter. I don't own the characters nor Shingeki no Kyojin.**_

_**Eren owns you eue.**_


	10. Chapter 10

**Reader x Eren Jaeger Chapter Ten**

Sparring practice with Eren was going well this week. You were able to almost beat him, but he would always figure out a way to catch you off guard. But sometimes it was the other way around, when you would unexpectedly sweep your foot under his or elbow his stomach or pinch his ear. He would always reprimand you for using dirty tricks, and you would get into an argument about it.

You whipped around, leg aiming for his side. He caught it with ease, but his grip faltered for a moment. You surged forward, bouncing off the ground with your other foot, pushing Eren down with the foot in his grip. He let out a yelp as he fell onto his back, your foot planted on his chest.

"Ow! What the fuck!?" he cried, wiggling underneath you.

You gazed down at him, aghast. "Did I just…beat you!?"

He froze. He averted your gaze, face flushed. "I-I guess…"

You grinned down at him. "Feels boss," you boasted.

Something glinted in his gaze and he suddenly latched onto your foot, tugging forward and making you fall. Soon enough, your positions were switched, you underneath him now as he pinned you down, you wrists beside your head. You were trying to get over the fact that he was a shirtless sweating mess while you wore just a sleeveless top and shorts, also a sweating panting mess.

"Feel boss now?"

"S-shut up," you growled, blushing. He raised and eyebrow, smirking smugly, but then that smirk vanished when you pressed your foot against his stomach and kicked him off.

"Fuck!" he yelped as he fell back, rubbing his head. You stood, still blushing.

Why were you blushing? You never blushed this easily. Was it his dominance over you? You cringed at that thought, feeling your face was no longer warm but on fire.

Eren eyed you, wiping the sweat from his brow. "_, you okay? Your face is red."

You jumped at his words, reaching up to hold your face. "H-huh? It's not r-red!"

He cackled. "Yes it is." He shifted on the ground, standing with an audible grunt.

You glared at him, forcing yourself to calm down, to stop your heart from racing so quickly because you couldn't hear a damn thing over the loud ass pounding.

He raised an eyebrow, smirking at you. You glanced down at his toned chest, feeling yourself blush even harder, and returned your gaze back up to his face, finding him blushing just as furiously as you.

Eh!?

You stared at each other, not really knowing what to do. The god damn sexual tension in the air was as thick as smoke. Maybe you could just lean forward a little…or he could that?

Fuck your fantasies.

Eren rubbed the nape of his neck nervously, obviously distressed. "Um…I think that's a-all for today's practice."

"S-sure…"

You bit your lip, not waiting for him to lead the way out. You pushed on the double doors and headed for the showers, Eren behind you. The showers were set up with ten on each side of the room, a wall separating them. Two longs benches stood against the wall on either side. You usually kept to the right side while Eren occupied the left. The only time you saw each other during your grooming was when you walked out together, full dressed, hair damp. You never felt embarrassed to be so near a boy in the showers, but for some reason, you did now, despite there being a wall and Eren was very respectful towards you. Your mind wandered to your sparring practices, when he would knee you or fling you over into your back. Maybe he wasn't so respectful?

You groaned to yourself, cheeks aflame, clutching you head as you leaned against the wall, hearing the steady stream of water falling on the other side of the room, which meant Eren was showering. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck!

_God dammit_, you thought, biting the insides of your cheeks. Why was your face so red? He's your best friend-_nOTHING ELSE!_

_Nothing else_, you chanted in your head._Nothing else, nothing else, nothing else, something else, something else, yes he was definitely something else!_

Something else, something else, something else, but what, what is the else?

You sighed, groaning, and quickly stripped and stepped into the shower. It wasn't that fancy; only a wall high enough to cover everything but your head. You twisted the knob and water began spraying down from the shower head. The hot water was doing wonders to your aching muscles. You reached for the bottle of soap, still lost in thought. He was something else. Something else…

A _lover?_

You dropped the shampoo with a yelp, the noise as loud as a gunshot. "Fuck," you said aloud, grabbing it. You quickly lathered the soap into your hair and rinsed it away.

You peered over the shower wall. You couldn't see much because of the steam rising from the water. You reached a hand over to the knob of the shower door, grabbing the towel that hung from it and turning off the water. You wrapped yourself in the towel, mind racing as you left the shower and to your clothes.

A lover. A lover. _A lover?_

You dressed slowly, bracing a hand against the wall for balance, though it was more for support because of your thoughts. How could Eren be your boyfriend? But now that you were thinking about it, he was attractive.

_FUCKING-_

"_?"

You jumped, still in your bra. You looked around and spotted Eren staring at you, eyes wide and face red. Thank God you had your back to him though. You blushed and quickly slipped into your shirt as Eren stammered, "S-sorry! Oh god." He covered his face.

You felt like crying and punching someone in the face. Not because of what just happened, but because of your fucking feelings making you fucking blush, maybe it was the fucking hormones, or the fucking stress, but you wanted the weird and alien feeling to go away.

You stuffed your sweaty clothes in your bag and scurried to Eren's side. He still had his face hidden in his hands, obviously still blushing. "Is it okay that I can look now?" he asked quietly.

Scratching your warm cheeks, you touched his shoulder, making him jump. "You can look now," you said, rolling your eyes.

He slowly lowered his hands. His eyes flicked up to meet yours as he turned his head to face you. He stared at you and you raised an eyebrow. Suddenly he leaned forward and you felt something touch your nose. Eren said, "Boop," as he booped your nose.

You snorted and blushed as he laughed , doubling over. "I've always wanted to d-do that!"

"What do you mean?" you asked, poking his cheek.

"It's just your nose! It's so…boopable!"

_And you're so kissable,_ you thought. You blushed at your thought and rolled your eyes at Eren. He laughed again and you sacked him with your bag on the head.

"Ow! What was that for?"

_For making me feel this way you precious little shit._

Holy shit. Do you like Eren? You froze, eyes wide.

Do you _like_Eren?

Eren stared at you, confusion in his eyes. But then something in his eyes changed, like he was thinking the same thing, but you didn't notice, too occupied in glaring at the floor. You whipped your head back to him, him doing the same, and forgot that he was closer to you than you thought.

You both blushed furiously, noses touching. You stared into his wide eyes, neither of you making a move to pull back. Neither of you leaned forward. God the sexual tension was so fucking annoying and your heart and mind was racing and you just wanted to lean forward and _kiss_the suicidal bastard.

He beat you to it.

Leaning forward, Eren closed the space between you two, lips fitting onto yours. You relaxed right away, kissing him back and closing your eyes.

Oh god, what were you doing? Kissing your best friend? You punched mental you in the face, screaming, _'IT'S WAY BEYOND THE LINE OF FRIENDSHIP NOW DIPSHIT.'_

But somehow, you felt what you were doing was wrong. You pulled back abruptly and ran out of the showers, leaving Eren behind you, more confused than ever.

You wanted to punch a wall.

So you did.

_**Don't hate me for such a short chapter especially when this happens don't hate me don't hate me**_

_**Oh yeah I probably just made your heart race and made you all happy until I tore it out and placed it roughly back.**_

_**Im sorrryyyy but there is a reason for such a short chapter. Thank you for all the lovely reviews! And if you like this, check out my reader x jean modern au insert.**_

_**I don't own snk eren DEFINETELY owns you :D**_


	11. Chapter 11

**Reader x Eren Jaeger Chapter Eleven**

You stayed in your room all day, thinking and worrying and just staring out the window. What are you…supposed to do now?

At first you thought your friendship was forever ruined. I mean, you did kiss him- no he leaned forward so its his fault that your friendship was ruined. At first you were mad at Eren, but then you started getting more and more flustered as you thought more of the incident in the showers, scaring yourself as well. There were several things that were scaring you.

1.) He kissed you  
2.) He's your best friend  
3.) He fucking kissed you  
4.) You fucking let him  
5.) You enjoyed it

The last part scared you the most. Very much. Because despite the fact that he was your best friend and you barely dreamed of ever doing anything sexual with him (you shuddered at the thought of doing anything like that with him though you might enjoy it-ohfucknoshutup), and that he was nothing else, you still enjoyed the kiss, even if it lasted for several seconds. His lips were so soft and they fitted perfectly on yours, like they were meant to be there. Like…they belonged to you…

You shut your eyes tight and rolled onto your back on your bed. You felt the warm rays of sunset sunshine hit your face, which was scrunched up in intense thought. Something else, he was something else, nothing else, something else, he was definitely something else. You began thinking of how life would be if he could possibly be your boyfriend; his arm around your waist, holding you close to him, nights spent lying close to him and holding him tight, being able to hold his hand under the table at lunch so no one else would see, sharing quick kisses on the cheeks or temple, stealing glances at each other from across the room. It all seemed so natural to you because before you enlisted in the military, you were always the youngest in your hometown and was surrounded by these older kids expressing their love to their partners.

It seemed natural to you in some ways, but actually getting involved in those things would be something totally different. You never felt this way before about someone.

Oh yeah._That._

You never felt so different around Eren. It was mostly the cheesy shit: time would slow down or your heart would race and you would get some sort of weird feeling.

Damn hormones.

You never fucking asked for these feelings and shit, but know it was all you could think of besides Eren.

Eren, Eren, Eren.

_Eren._

Dumbass motherfucker.

You opened your eyes and sat up with a grunt. You brought your knees to your chest and lay your chin on your knees, staring at the door across the room.

So did this mean you liked Eren?

_Yes,_ you thought. _Can't believe I fell for the bastard._

You lowered your eyes to the floor, eyebrows furrowing and tongue sticking out of the corner of your mouth. You fell for him. You fucking fell for him. You blushed, cheeks warming up. Well shit.

Your hand still throbbed. You glanced at your hand, which was swollen and an odd shade of purple. The skin on your knuckles was caked with blood and torn from the punch. You could barely move it and it hurt like a fucking bitch. You sighed through your nose; this pain was a lot better to go through than the pain right now. You hadn't even cleaned it, and you punched the wall yesterday.

You stood from your bed and into your bathroom, which sadly was only a toilet, sink, and mirror. You strained to twist the knob as it refused to turn until it finally gave in, water spraying into the sink. You laid your hand into the water, watching as the colorless fluid turned into a light shade of pink as it washed off the blood. The water was cold, much to your distaste.

You stood in your tiny little bathroom washing your broken and raged hand in the fucking ceramic and shitty sink with water that was so cold that it was freezing your hand at the moment, glaring as you worked and scrubbed furiously at the wounds even though they were already fucking clean and you were so fucking stupid for punching a wall what the fuck were you even thin-

"Gaah!_Shut up!"_you growled to yourself, twisting the knob to shut off the water. Still grumbling, you opened the mirror cabinet where you knew you kept some gauze bandages.

Wrapping the thin fabric around your hand, you cursed silently to yourself and Eren. You didn't even know why you were mad. Or why you felt like crying. Or like killing Eren, or possibly slipping something into his drink, or possibly running up to him and kiss him, or_…kiss…_him.

You touched a finger to your lips for a moment as they tingled from remembering the sensations of his lips moving against yours. So nice…

Cutting the bandage with your teeth and securing it with a clip, you headed out of the bathroom and flopped into the chair by your desk, staring out the window. It was still snowing, you realized, as you watched the fluffy powder trickle to the ground in wet clumps. It made you think of how Eren's wet and sweaty hair lay on his head in damp clumps. You shook the thought away, mentally giving yourself a good slap of reality. You reached for the astronomy book on your desk, flipping it open to a random page. Your eyes read over the text, but they kept getting out of focus and blurred the text. You couldn't think right, way too distracted to read, which alarmed you, because never in your life were you too distracted to read a book.

This is a serious matter.

You closed the book with a noise of frustration, rubbing your sore temples. Maybe you could stay in your room forever. You could always ask Mikasa to do your chores, or ask Armin to bring you food. You could live like that for a while, you bet. But…you couldn't stay in your room forever. Your superiors would kill you if you did. You would have to face Eren someday, no matter how much you didn't want to.

But when?

You pondered over this for a moment. Why not during the Christmas party the Survey Corps held every year? Honestly, you thought the party was just a way to remind you all to enjoy life here while you weren't outside the walls, fighting to stay alive. Everyone was invited, of course. And it was also the Corporal's birthday. You would have to get him something… Your mind wandered back to Eren. _Oh no._

Christmas.

As in love and mistletoe and sweethearts.

You just wanted to skip outside and sing, "Fuck," in different pitches all day.

But Christmas was coming, and so was the Corporal's birthday, and it was pretty much mandatory to bring a gift or two. You would give Eren a gift of friendship. Yes, that was perfect. You didn't want to loose the friendship you had with him; you didn't want to be in a relationship either. Pretty much due to the fact that love came really slow, but it could be taken away from very quickly. In maybe three words. It was worsened greatly now because you were both in the military, even worse that you were on the front lines.

You just weren't ready for this.

Sighing again, you stretched and stood, walking to your closet and choosing a clean jacket and putting it on, as well as snatching your green cloak. You brushed a hand over the smooth yet rough fabric. You stared at the Wings of Freedom on the back where the hood covered the top part of it. The blue and white wings over laid each other like two wings ready to beat and fly away.

Quickly donning the cloak with a fluid movement, you left your room and shuffled through the halls, heading for the courtyard. You passed the boys' hallways as you did, lingering for a moment. Only when you heard a doorknob being jingled did you scurry off.

You needed someone to talk to, so why not someone who wouldn't respond? Or, _something…_

You opened the doors to the courtyard, a strong yet cold breeze tousling your hair. You tucked a few strands behind your ear and trudged through the think layer of snow. Up ahead you spotted a large tape covering the two captured titans so snow wouldn't fall on them. Then you'd have to shovel snow off of titans, and you knew Hanji would make you do it no matter what. You looked up into the rust colored sky, splashes of pink and white clouds along it. You lingered there for a moment, the snow falling around you in flurries, catching onto your clothing and melting quickly, gazing at the sunset. A snowflake landed on your eyelash and you blinked it away, striding forward to the two titans. You sat down in front of the two with a huff, wrapping yourself in the green fabric, and cleared your throat before opening your mouth, planning to take a shitload of time speaking.

—

He wanted to die.

The titan shifter lay in his bed, arms cast over his head, covering his head. With his eyes closed underneath his arms, all he could see was darkness as his eyes darted around under his eyelids. The darkness was a lot more better than what he was putting away from his mind, though it was pretty obvious as to what it was. Eren's face contorted for a moment before relaxing at the memory. He breathed slowly, trying to calm his god damn speeding heart.

In.

Out.

In.

An image of _ flashed before his mind, face flushed and breath coming out in little white clouds, snow in her hair.

_Dammit_, he thought, biting his lip. He felt his face warm up for a moment before he calmed himself down again.

In.

Again, she came back, only now with eyes full of determination, analyzing his every move, sweat making her skin glow in the sun light. Blossoms fell around her, the tree from which they came from almost bare. She lunged forward, fist pulled back, but everything was slowed down and sluggish. He was focusing solely on her and her alone. Only her…

"Fuck," he cursed quietly, blushing beet red. This was exactly what he was trying to escape from! He let one of his arms fall to his side, frustrated. He breath in again, then out, the image of _ slowly fading away until there was the blackness he wanted.

But dammit, there she was again, back in his mind. Her face was dangerously close, eyes half lidded as they stared at him. The blush on her face was so cute… Her wet (h/c) fell into her face before he leaned forward, and a tingling sensation settled on his lips for a moment.

Eren sat up abruptly, face terribly red. He let out a whimper of frustration before laying back down, the mattress sinking in around him.

Why did he do that?

Eren thought for a moment. Since the time he first enlisted, he was always surrounded by people. Mikasa, Armin, and, even though he disliked the guy, Jean were there and he was able to talk to them. But he felt so lonely. And for some reason, he always noticed the (h/c) haired girl with the wide (e/c) curious eyes that darted everywhere, seeking for answers to questions as they appeared in her head. The girl who made Connie fall on his ass because of his unwanted compliments. The girl who opened the door at the wrong time as he walked right by it. The girl with the huge mass of books memorized in her head. The girl who wouldn't give up, no matter what.

The girl he fucking fell in _love_with.

Never in his life had Eren Jaeger been distracted by his one goal. 'I'll kill them all…', 'Wipe them from the face of the Earth'. 'Kill the titans…' Never had the thought of settling down occurred to him, much less love. He wanted to be free and that was it. But now…now he wasn't so sure anymore. Because he wanted to be with, _. Badly. But he couldn't.

Because Eren Jaeger promised to kill all the titans, and that was his one and only goal.

Right?

_Yes,_ he thought, reassuring himself._It is._

But _should_it?

Letting out a groan of frustration, Eren slammed his fist down onto his nightstand, the loud bam resonating throughout the silent room.

Yes it should! That was his only goal and he was going to keep it. Then maybe when that was done he could…possibly…

_No,_he reprimanded himself._Like she'll care about me._

Which was true. Why would she care about him? He pretty much ruined their friendship with his stupid little mistake. Plus, she ran away. But she did kiss him back. Did that mean something? Probably not. _She ran away from you, Eren. Stop imagining things, dammit._

Then it was settled. His only goal was to eradicate the titans, no distractions. No distractions.

That was when Eren Jaeger reluctantly decided there would be _no_distractions.

_**Ehhh here we go I'll keep posting chapters but that one review is kinda…worrying me. Whatever. I don't own snk nor its characters.**_

_**You belong to Eren**_


	12. Chapter 12

**Reader x Eren Jaeger Chapter Twelve**

Snow fell heavily outside and piled in the usual wet and slippery clumps that you always had to step on and then slip and bang your _bloody_head-

You need to calm down; your racing heartbeat was doing wonders to your imaginations. That was sarcasm by the way.

Grumbling to yourself, you lazily left your room, ready for the Christmas celebration. You decided not to wear a dress but instead your white pants and an old blouse that still looked…decent. In each of your hands you held your presents, one for Eren, the other for Heichou.

The celebration was being held in the main dining room of HQ, where there was enough room to accommodate most of the survey corps. You heard pounding footsteps behind you and turned around, stepping to the side just in time before Sasha could tackle you.

"_! Are you going to the party?" she asked cheekily.

You nodded, scratching the back of your neck, nervous and clutching your gifts. "Yeah."

Her expression changed. "Aw, _! What's wrong?"

You waved the question away dismissively. "N-nothing."

Sasha stuck out her lower lip in a pout. "Okay then. See you at the party! I got a date," she said with a wink, scuffing off.

Groaning, you leaned against the wall, worried. Should you go? Or should you not go? You had to tell Eren that you still wanted to be friends. If you wanted to be friends…more than friends? No? Yes. _No! Yes!_

"God fucking dammit," you growled, making up your mind and stalking off in the direction of the main dining hall. As you neared, you could see people entering and leaving through the double doors, loud chatter and laughter inside. You stepped closer to the doors but stopped when you saw a flash of dark hair.

From far away, you watched Eren enter the dining hall with Armin, who looked to be trying to give the guy a pep talk. Eren just sighed, looking tired and a little scared. You narrowed your eyes, watching them disappear through the door. Oh god, you thought. This is you going to be so fucking difficult.

Heart beating even faster, you strode forward and pushed open the door. Inside were three long dining tables parallel to each other in the cent of the room. In the far left corner you could see a bar, and you knew things were going to be bad from the amount of men and woman drinking there. At the other corner of the room were lounges and chairs for people to sit on and enjoy the bustle of their comrades. The large Christmas tree at the back of the room touched the ceiling, decorations tinkling and shining in the light. You realized right away this was a _fairly_shitty Christmas party, and a birthday.

Sighing through your nose, you quickly shuffled across the room, weaving through people and brushing past them. You placed your gifts under the tree with the others your comrades had brought and straightened, looking around the room.

"Hey, _!" said a voice behind you.

Turning around, you saw Armin standing there, smiling warmly at you as he tugged at the collar of his white dress shirt. Behind him, standing to the side with his back to you, was none other than Eren fucking Jaeger. You stared at Eren for a moment before turning your eyes to meet Armin's.

"Hey, Armin!" you said as cheerfully as you could, a strained smile curling your lips. This was definitely hard. You cleared your throat and looked off the side, quietly saying, "Hi, Eren."

Said boy turned his head slightly to meet your gaze. You weren't sure if he was mad, afraid, or flustered seeing you-you couldn't really tell anyway. He blushed a little, making you do so as well.

"Hi, _. Didn't see you, ah, there…"

You looked away. "That's probably because your back is to me…"

"Ah…yeah," he said awkwardly, back still to you.

Armin watched the exchange carefully, glancing between you and Eren. "Okaay, well. I'm going to look for Mikasa, so…"

Your eyes widened and you turned to Armin as Eren did so as well. "Wait!" you yelped as Armin ran off, glancing behind his shoulder to give you and Eren an evil grin. Your mouth twitched into a growl as you watched Armin scurry off, obviously lying about trying to find Mikasa.

Eren stood beside you awkwardly, still not meeting your gaze. You tugged at the hem of your shirt, literally tasting the awkward in the air.

"Ah…," you said, trying to think of something to say. It wasn't going well.

Eren cleared his throat and coughed a little, eyes wide and face red.

"You're a fucking tomato," you chuckled nervously.

"Not as red as you, you…fucking…," he paused, thinking. "Strawberry?"

You snorted, the unholy noise louder than you expected. "Dumbass."

He glanced at you sideways. "Idiot."

"Suicidal bastard."

"Smart aleck."

"Little shit."

"Bitch."

You smacked him on his head, and you could tell he was bracing for impact because of the knowing smile on his face. "Shut up, you dork."

"At least now you're not avoiding me," he muttered, rubbing his head, turquoise eyes landing on your (e/c) orbs. Your heart raced for a moment as the kiss scene replayed in you head, making you blush.

"Who said I was avoiding you?"

"No one did, of course, but I figured you were anyway. I mean, I was avoiding you…"

You bit your lip, turning away. "Yeah, whatever, you dumb fuck."

He turned his head to slightly glare at you, though his gaze was playful. You glared back, holding his gaze, daring for him to look away. Secretly, you wanted him to, but you didn't want to look like a wuss who ran away from everything. As the two of you glared at each other, the distance between you two closed as you leaned forward. On the verge of having another scene to play in your mind, you stepped back, hands on your hips. Eren faltered for a moment before turning away with a sigh, disappointment in his eyes.

"Look, _…"

"Oi, Eren! _!" called a voice. You both turned to see Hanji waving at you two from the dining tables, motioning for you to come over. That's when you realized everyone was getting ready to eat.

You gave Eren one last glance before taking an empty seat, the dark haired boy sitting right beside you. _Dammit,_ you thought, clenching the hem of the table cloth. He was so goddamn close. Sitting around you were most of your friends: Armin, Mikasa, Jean, Sasha- the whole gang was here. At the end of the table sat your superior officers, Hanji, the Commander, and Corporal, as well as senior soldiers. The corporal looked annoyingly at everyone as they wished him a happy birthday. The short spat something at Hanji, making her smirk and laugh.

Just as you were about to greet your other friends, a plate was placed in front of you, your eyes widening at the mound of food on it. But there, right beside the vegetables and potatoes, was meat. "Whoaaa," you breathed, digging your form into the cooked beef, mouth watering. "This is like motherfucking heaven, dammit."

"I can't believe they got us meat!" Connie nearly shouted, just as excited as the lot of you.

You dug right in, as well as your friends around you. Connie kept moaning as he ate, obviously enjoying the food. Sasha elbowed him, rolling her eyes. "Stop making those noises!"

"Why?" he asked, mouth full.

You had to look away because it wasn't a pretty sight to see. Armin, who sat in front of you, watched you carefully while eating. You glowered at him, knowing he was trying to get you and Eren talking…or possibly kiss again. "Armin, you can _stop,_" you whispered.

"Stop what?"

"Don't play dumb. I know what you're trying to do. It's not helping."

He stared at you for a moment. "Fine. You figure it out then."

"But that's the problem; I don't know if I can!"

You glanced at Eren beside you to find him staring at you, one hand on his cheek, the other playing with his food. You blushed, his stare not wavering. Eyebrows furrowed, you asked, "What's with you?"

"I'm not hungry," he muttered.

"Not even for meat?"

"…."

You sighed, continuing to eat. Dinner was mostly awkward silence as you ate, your friends around you eyeing your gloomy forms. Armin was watching you the most, but not like Mikasa. It seemed she was glowering at you, shooting blades from her eyes. You tried to glare at her, but her gaze only darkened, leaving you a little more than scared. You quickly looked away, unable to hold such a piercing gaze. When dinner was over, it was time to give out the presents.

You snatched your two presents and waited patiently for the crowd around Heichou to clear. Choosing a gift for him was difficult, since he was mostly a short guy who wore a cravat and rarely spoke politely to anyone. As you neared him, the man scowled. "Ah, it's the brat with the sharp mind. What do you want?"

"I'm going to take that as a compliment and pretend I neared you say it a little nicer. I've got you your present, Heichou," you growled the last word, annoyed that he couldn't be polite or hold a decent conversation.

The corporal held out his hand and you passed him the wrapped box. "Thanks," he said. "You can go now."

"Can't I see you open it?"

"No."

You scowled back at him, making him glare at you. Turning around, you searched for the other boy in the room that the gift was going to. You spotted Eren push out through the back doors, leaving. What the fuck? Why was he leaving?

You weaved through the mass of people, nearing the door. A hand laid on your shoulder, making you whip around and defensively raise your hands, ready to chop at anyone, but then lowered them when you realized it was just Mikasa and Armin.

"_," the raven haired girl said.

"Uh, hi, Mikasa."

"What did you do to Eren?"

"What do you mean?" you asked, eyes darting around. Oh god, was she going to beat you up, because from her tightening grip on your shoulder, you knew she was holding back.

"Eren. It's like you broke his heart."

"What?!" you hissed, incredulous.

"What did you do?" Mikasa growled.

You stared at her, too shocked to say anything. The determined suicidal bastard is…broken hearted? Because of you?

Armin spoke up. "They kissed. And she ran away."

You blushed. "H-how do you know that?"

"Eren babbles when he's nervous."

Mikasa stared at you. "I swear, if you hurt him…"

You put your hands up defensively. "No! No, I don't want to hurt him! I never wanted to, er, kiss him! He leaned in anyway…but I only want to be friends."

Armin stepped forward. "Do you? Do you really want to be friends with him? I'm sure that kiss must have meant something to you, too, _."

You stared at him. Did it? Did you? You put a hand to your forehead. "It did mean something," you admitted. Armin smiled. "See-"

"But…I wish it didn't. Armin, I can't…I don't know if I..really want to do this," you went on, cutting him off.

Mikasa glared at you. "_. He likes you."

You gulped. "Huh?"

"He likes you."

"H-how do you know that?"

"Like Armin said: Eren babbles when he's nervous."

You stared at them both, clutching the wrapped gift to your chest. "Oh god…," you muttered.

Mikasa regarded you for a moment. "You really don't like him back, do you?"

You wanted to say that you didn't, but you weren't even sure anymore. Of course you fell for the idiot; you said it yourself days ago.

"That's what I thought," Mikasa spat when you didn't answer.

"No." You swallowed loudly. "I do."

Armin grinned. "Then get out there and tell him."

You turned around and pushed open the door, the cool air nipping at your skin. Were you really going to do this? Were you going to tell him? Was he? Standing a few feet away, leaning against a pillar, was Eren, head turned to look at you. His eyes widened a fraction when his eyes landed on you. You blushed, frowning. Taking a deep breath, you marched up to him.

_I'm going to do it,_you thought as you neared. But then something cut you off. His wide turquoise eyes landed on yours, making you falter. You stared into that light shade of green and blue, a dash of darker blue by the iris. At this close proximity, he looked different. Perhaps because you have never been this close to him. You were this close before, but pretty much didn't stay like that for long. The way the moonlight shone on his skin and enhanced his features and lightened his hair was amazing. And all you could think was-

_Fuck, he's hot._

Your confidence dropped and you blushed like mad, flustered. He stared at you, face as red yours. You looked away and shove the gift into his chest abruptly, making him jump.

"Merry Christmas, you adorable fuck."

He stared at you for a moment, blushing to the max. "T-thanks," he said quietly before carefully tearing the wrapping paper off and removing the lid of the box.

Inside was a book, the same book you had lent Eren. After asking Hanji if it would be alright to keep it, you thought about giving the book to him. It would be a lot easier than going to the market and spending whatever money you had on something you weren't even sure he would like, want, or need. You didn't have much money anyway.

"Oh. It's the book," he said, sounding a little disappointed.

You whipped you head around to look at him. "Don't like it?"

"Huh? Oh, o-of course I do! I mean, we read it together so it…holds, ah, a lot of…sentimental value."

"Pfft," you laughed at his cheesiness.

Eren's eyes brightened at your voice, but then darkened. "Look, _. I wanted to say something earlier."

You looked at him expectantly. "Yeah…"

"Well," he scratched the back of his neck, eyebrows furrowed, face no longer red, though there was uncertainty in his eyes. "I…"

"Eren, spit it out already," you muttered, impatient. Oh god, was he really going to say it? __, I like you and I think we should become something that's more than friends._

"_. I think we-"

_Say it. Oh god he's going to say it!_

"-shouldn't be friends anymore."

What.

You stared at him for a moment, surprised, confused, and disappointed. "I'm sorry, but, what?" you asked, still not able to register what he just said.

Eren averted your gaze. "I think we shouldn't be friends anymore."

"But…why?"

"I…" He closed his mouth.

Anger bubbled up inside of you, coursing through your body. "Is this because of what people are saying? If you don't want to be friends anymore, then fine!"

"_, let me explain-"

"I think you already did,_Jaeger_." You spat the last word, the anger thick in your tone.

"_…"

"Don't, _, me Jaeger." You wiped at your eyes. When did you start crying? "Don't talk to me ever again, you _coward_."

He just stared at you helplessly as you stormed off, tears blurring your vision. You let the doors close behind you with a loud thud, causing others to look at you as you shoved past people. Armin and Mikasa looked up as you passed them. Armin called out, "_! Wait up!"

You ignored him and headed for the door, leaving the main dining hall and beginning the long walk back to your room. "_!" Armin called, but you ignored him again.

Why was Eren such a cruel bastard? Stop being friends? Why the fuck would he want to stop being friends? The motherfucking titan shifter better not come crawling back, you thought bitterly. You sniffed loudly, wiping you eyes with the back of your hand.

Suddenly a hand landed on your shoulder, making you whip around and lash out, but the person caught your elbow. Mikasa stood there, chest heaving. Armin stood behind her, breathing heavily.

"_, what happened?" he asked.

You glared at him as another tear fell down your cheek. Mikasa's gaze softened, Armin's face mixed with concern.

"Oh, _…" he murmured.

You ripped you elbow out of Mikasa's grip, pushing her back in the process. "Shut up," you growled through gritted teeth, seething with anger.

And with that you stalked off, leaving your two friends. Swinging open your door and making it tremble on its hinges, you wiped at your eyes again, the tears still falling. You shut the door with a loud bang and fell onto your bed, tired, confused, and angry.

_Fucking Jaeger._

_**This is like…the second shortest chapter ever. Ugh. I wish I wrote more but I fell ill and didn't go to school and had time to write Feel New, but I was too sick to do anything but laze around. God, my throat was hurting, my nose was stuffed, couldn't fucking breath, and my head was pounding. I thought I could go to school the next day but BOY WAS I WRONG! Haha oh god. **_

_**Anyway, sorry for the long wait, that was mostly the reason why this was uploaded a little late. Oh, and to the wonderful Guest who reviewed- I SHALL CONTINUE! Just please be patient guys, don't um spam me with "oh where is it?" "when is it coming?" I mean, Im happy to see you guys wanting more. But you never know what goes on in this girl's life, especially when she loves to do a bunch of school things. I really wish I didn't, but now I got myself stuck in: Orchestra, Band, TV production, PMV school project, computer fair, and shit.**_

_**Anyway, I don't own snk nor its characters.**_


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